New Year but has anything really changed?

I'm so sad today :( just anxious and teary eyed. It's Friday so hooray for that and all. I've reached a point where I'm so anxious about coming to work that as I walk up the hill to get here I like start crying...ugh. Well, I hope to have a nice weekend. I'm going dancing so I'm looking forward to that. AND I have made good on two out of three resolutions. I got up at 5:30 today and walked up and down the stairs in my apt. building for 15 minutes. My goal is 30 but I was like DYING after 15 so I stopped. I had some time to kill so I did 40 crunches. Tonight I need to do add'l strength training. I USED to be pretty good about working out - 20 minutes or so of cardio 5xa week and strength training 3xa week. I fell out of the habit in September when things started going to hell at my job. So one of the resolutions is to get back on track with working out. Heh, so far so good... The second resolution is to continue with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. I found a free website a few weeks ago and got started. I like it but have been slacking and my mood is crappy today so I'm gonna go on it today and try to keep up with that.  The third one is to smile more. I've heard that if you smile, like even totally faking it, it can help. So I've been doing that...a little bit today.I don't even know why I get so uptight about coming in to work. I am getting paid $16 to clean kitchens, do whatever odd jobs my coworkers want me to do, and look for a job. And well, fart around online when not looking for a job. The two ladies I work directly with are both very nice. I can't help but feel awkward around them though since they basically have stolen my job from me. I really just need to fucking let go but that's not really my forte. I need to focus on feeling better about myself and my life in general. I really wish I had more friends. I miss having friends that I'd see a lot and feel great connections with...I just don't have that anymore. Well, my bf is great but I mean like other people. Sigh...well, hopefully this day will go by fast. On the To Do list today is to keep looking a jobs, follow up on the ones I've applied for recently, hang out here on DS and Facebook, figure out the wisdom tooth issue (long story and I don't feel like getting into it), chat with the bf and friends on gmail, do some CBT stuff, and then go home for a nice weekend. Once home I need to do my strength training, but then I get to hang out on the couch. I think we'll watch Death Race tonight. Looks like fluffy fun stuff. Then tomorrow we're going over to the bf's brother's house for dinner, then the sis in law and I will go out dancing. Not sure what the plan is for Sunday hopefully relaxing...