new dreams...

I keep hoping that this will get easier. It's so hard to force the man that I love more than anything out of my life completely. But I know it's the right thing to do, the only thing left to do I guess.  I guess on an emotional level I just don't want him to feel like I'm rejecting him or giving up on him. I told him that he needs to decide what he wants for his life, and if he decides he wants to get off drugs, to get clean, and then come back to me. It's hard to let go of all the dreams I had about our future together. We had plans about where we were going to get married, who would marry us, what we were going to name our children... I guess a lot of people talk about that but I had never talked about it with anyone before. I know that now I need to start making new dreams, but it's really hard to let go of the old, and I don't really know where to start on the new ones. I guess I need to remember that this to will pass, and hopefully, one day, I'll be really glad that I finally ended things.