new day, new answers.. no big whoop

I went to work this morning - same ole' same ole' - positive outlook and - got to work

- stayed calm and did good work. It's easy to stay directed when I am thinking

in terms of someone else....working at the market, everyone is busy doing their job

working for the company...

then I came home sat on the couch briefly - had lunch - and changed and then went

to the office...

got to the office...*crickets*...i am the only one there...and the boss hasn't been coming in 

recently.. but there I found it a little harder to focus and motivate to do the work - actually not entirely true - 

I got work done in the beginning - but as time passed less and less - - and feel like I am hitting a stumbling block because I don't 

rightly know what else there is to do in terms of the project I have been working on...I want to do a good job - I think I am - 

but I worked a couple hours and then left as I normally do - sent the updated document to my boss 

and then ran an errand...now I am home and that same sense of relationship is what I noticed is different.

when I am working for myself I am not as focused or driven - so it stands to be evidenced by my high output at the market - and then a sense of dead in my tracks when at home...I don't know if it's a truism - but as the work went from working in a group - to working for one other alone - now to hanging out just by myself alone just trying to see why it is 

I am nestled on the couch not really aiming for much more. My mind is pretty labile and honestly I think I am drawn again to live at the monastery because I think it would be a safe place for me. I dunno - just thoughts.

-- to be continued - - 

xx