new job

Well I have a new job@ J&J. this is a big company and it's everythiing any one can ask for but my trainer is really mean and nasty toward me. 1st of all he didn't want to train me and made that very known to me and my new boss. He speeds around me as if I'm suppose to keep up with him. We work in an area where mistakes can be costly and viable. We work with dangerous products also. Yesterday, he told me that I make certain facial expression that lead him to believe that I don't want to work or do my job ( anything he asks of me). Yeah right!!!!!  In the getup we wear you ca barely see my face, that's one thing and second I don't notice that I do that. I can honestly say that I have a harsh voice and have been to told that my voice can be misinterrepted. Oh well!!! Yesterday, my stomach was in knots!?! I didn't eat and felt sick. I was in raged. And not just beacuse of that he also told me that other people feel the same way. ( so their talking about me already) I must add already because I've only been here for less than a month. He is now bundtly rushing through te rest of my training and I don't really feel comfortable with that. I feel somewhat that I'm being punish for something I did in a past life. I was at the top of my career whe I got fired and now I'm at the bottom. I know that it will take some time to get back on top but at what cost? I'm not acting like myself I feel degraded, low and worthless like this is the best I can do for now. Like I owe this to my family for fucking up royally on my old job. I've been praying and trying to be positive even before this bomb shell. But yesterday, hit me like a ton of bricks. I feel anger and rage, I feel like fighting or attacking him. BAM!!!!!Today's approach , because you I got one is to keep my eye contact with to zero, slave like:(  This entire situation is an attack on my self esteem. How low can I go? How low long before I snap? And I know that I will!!!! Yet, with all that happen to me yesterday, I went home and had an okay day with my kids. Got me some dick from my Ex-husband. Much needed!!!!  I'm praying for a better day.God only give you what you can handle!!!