never ending

I just want to curl up in the corner and go to sleep.
How could this have happened?
Grief expressed is often grief diminished.
I feel like I am fighting a losing battle
The silence goes on and on and on. It is just always there.
I live a pathetic life now.
Greif is not just in the moment that would be easy. Greif is in all moments, hour to hour, day to day and month to month. Greif never takes a break.
I am totally preoccupied with this. It never goes away. I need rest.
I need people around me but there is no one here. People avoid me.
I want this winter to be over. I want to find some meaning in life.
The few who offer help do in such a way that I must somehow go out and get it. “Call me if you need to talk to someone” That is such a easy way out. When I do call you say call if you need anything. Excuse me, I just called. Why doesn’t anyone ever call me?
My grief is at an intensity level I never dreamed possible.
Greif hurts in so many ways. I discover them one by one day by day.
I have lost my identity. I no longer know who I am.
I have always considered myself to be self sufficient. That alone makes it very hard to accept help form others much less, be able to ask for help.