Nervous when alone.
I went out today with my brothers the monastics anc I had a good time.
Part of me gets worried and guilty when I'm having fun. I texted my sister a photo and a comment about the guilty
she wrote back:
Why would you feel guilty about having a good time? Sheesh Mark, if you aren't torturing yourself by ruminating, you're punishing yourself for having fun. Get over it and enjoy the present moment!!
She was right on and I just chilled and had fun.
Then I came home to my empty apartment. And started to get nervous. I realized it was much of the same process going on. Permission to have fun, insecure about choices. I'm letting go of that.
Replies
You know, being alone is one of the Hardest things we have to deal with. And to learn what to do with our thoughts, our pent-up worries, when we are alone with our minds just spinning.
I'm glad you decided to have a good time today, out with your brothers! That makes for a pleasant memory.
Thanks GT!!!!(hug)
You are allowed to have a good time.
JOY. Joy is a good thing.
Hugs.
I'm so glad that you were able to have fun sweetie!!...xo
I use to be the same way at times. I learned that's what guilt did to me. Making a mistake, feeling guilty about it with the definition in my subconscious saying, "I'm guilty and I deserve to be punished". I had to learn to forgive myself. Mistakes need correction, not punishment.....hugs
Thanks you guys!!!!