needing companionship
my therapist told me, she understands that I unwind when I am at home
alone. She said it's very hard to be alone and define yourself in your own space.
She said when we are around others, they tell us who we are...and when I brought it
up, she said, we all need that absolving, so to speak.
I am home from work today, and I am just hanging out. My energies overpower me
into a depressive kind of state, but I know I can take a walk, which I will do shortly. I went for
one earlier.. time to do it again!
My mind undermines me so much of the time, and my identity changes so often it's exasperating
to say the least. Like I said in my previous post, even so in spite of all of it, I can still focus on the basic tasks
and keep going. In the face of feeling 'so odd' - I can still keep going. I will go for a walk now.
Replies
I realize I can do little things, that add up as little accomplishments, and so maybe these things can serve as little feathers in my cap.
I went for a walk. Even though depressed it felt good to be moving outside. I also have gained a bunch of weight
and so I think 'losing a few' might make me a little happier, difficult though it is to lose and self deny - especially when low. I would feel less depressed if I had a tighter physique, though. I think a lot of us have to deal with 'our individual' - it may be hard to feel not depressed when we deal with ourselves in the context of society or just the others around us or even the airways and television. I remember when I was younger I had a real penchant for interior design and art - and it was an obsession or yes a passion. I have to be considerate of different things now, my illness and job - and so I'm not so 'in touch' with what makes me happy....but I bet that if I make room for some of these things in my life today - I can also negotiate the relationships in my life - and feel somewhat better. I will keep my eye on those things that brighten my spirit
and to add them into my life rather, I guess it's part of 'taking it' a day at a time. Peace.
I have 2 middle aged sons. One is so much like me that we can barely share the same space. More of either one of us isnae a good thing. Natural autonomy is among the traits we share. Company? Okay. If you insist. I'll even grunt on a regular basis so you can *know* I'm listening.
My other son is a natural poet philosopher with a heart bigger than The Milky Way. One of his elementary teachers teased during a parent/teacher conference that some of the profundities he spouted with natural ease made him feel like a temple elder listening to the Child Jesus. It pained this gentle teacher to report that his metaphorical Child Jesus wasnae keeping up with the 20th Century academic requirements. The conference ended with recommendations for Special Ed. This son is far more at peace in the company of someone who wishes he would act like a tree and leave than he is when he is alone. Is it possible that a heart that big *simply* needs extra inhabitants?
Dunno. . . Continued support while you sort. Both of you.
Thanks
Big hug for you sweetie.... What about joining another MeetUp?.... Do you think that you'd be up for it?.....xo
Thanks Jan! My brother suggested as much to me earlier today. I think I may look into something politically oriented. Just thoughts.