needing a cartoon to live in
I guess that's kind of a harsh statement.
Perhaps I should write it partly as my preferences and expectations for the way life should be?
Rather than what it is?
I woke up this morning. Got a good night's sleep and then I showered and dressed.
I sat down at my computer, thinking about my therapist and thinking about my life here
at Saint Nina's. I started to not know what direction to go in. I had planned to go to the pub
today but then thought it excessive for my role here. I know I want a calm and peaceful life.
I guess I have that here. Part of me though feels like an imposter at times. I want a foot hold in life
outside of here - or just a foot hold in honestly being myself. I stung with the thought that
others here are really big believers.
I'll be ok - just waking up now. I think that writing my thoughts has helped me wake up more
and that has woken up the voice of reason within me and cognition.
Replies
Ah, as I explained to a friend of mine who is an active individual in the ways and means of their faith, you live prayer.
Here's to you finding the peace and calm whereever you are, no matter the noise surrounding the area.
Added: I considered a cartoon like Calvin and Hobbs, which my brother shared with me. I picture Blue and you and a third character to working together as you continue your path of peace. This came after I stepped away and it popped up.
Thanks Mid!
i thought it was a simple fact that i am living in a cartoon. in idle moments i entertain myself with the revolution by which i and my fellow cartoon characters will rise up and overthrow the goofy cartoonist who keeps coming up with all this insanity.
attempted humor aside. . .
your statement on finding a cartoon you can live in reminds me of the "safe place" tool i learned in formal therapy and have gotten considerable mileage from. my most developed "safe place" is my mud cave. i retreat there for short whiles when i feel like i can't cope with my current realities. it is a therapy tool which works when i work it. maybe you really do need to find a cartoon you can live in.
Thanks Arfie!!!
It sounds like you feel as though your life has the potential for going out of control. Think to a part of your past of when that was true or someone made you feel that way. This might be something that needs closure. Youre going to have to face what happened. Write it a long letter even if it is an abstract idea that caused this issue. Then when you feel as though you have processed all of your feelings of it take the letter to a body of water burn the letter and let the ashes carry it away. You may have to do this once a month for a while.
Thanks CCleaver!
Big hug sweetie....I don't think that there's anything wrong with wanting to go out for lunch or to do some things away from the monestary
People don't all have to be exactly the same in what they want and there's nothing sinful about that
You've chosen a way of life sweetie that's still pretty new for you and having some questions is just being honest with yourself and God
God knows you well Mark and loves you
He understands what you're going through
You may continue to love your work at the Monestary but continue to need some time out in the world and I think that's just fine? No?
Thanks Jan!