Needed

I was talking to a cousin who is the ceo of a business. He's a few years older than me. Probably 61 or so. We were talking about my Dad. I told him that my Dad is, in his circle of friends and business, considered'the voice of reason.' My father is nearly 87 and he's still working. My cousin was amazed by this and had the amazing insight that it's an amazing thing to still have value in business at his age. We both agreed, yes it is.

This cousin has a great way at looking at things and his insight stayed with me.

As I get more ensconced here at the monastery, and my work is needed, and I learning to talk to the sisters and parishioners from a place of leading with calmness rather than nervousness, I'm learning there's an importance and power and responsibility in that. I am learning I am needed here. After doing services in the first 3rd of the day (on any given day) and then when I go back up to my room to do chores or hangout, there's the tug in me to come down to church again to make use of my time in that I know I am needed. I don't know if it's sublimation. Our society has strange messaging about what a life should be. I do make time for some personal fun things but I am also ever present here. I've almost always got to be somewhere or be something for someone. It's a family life in a different way. I am giving up couplehood and physicality and personal wealth, but some of it seems just irrelevant . 
Things here are good. I live a comfortable life here.