Need to vent
Hey,
As you guys might have noticed, I haven't left for my long-awaited inpatient treatment for the anorexia. First it was the insurance company that was dragging their feet, and now, the center that they finally referred me to isn't calling me back. I was supposed to know by today what day this week I am leaving. I AM SO FRUSTRATED!!
The thing is that I really want to start school on the 30th so that I will have enough credits to graduate in May (on my birthday actually, May 11th), but if I don't take classes this term because I am in treatment, I won't be able to walk at graduation. I have emailed all my fall semester professors, and only two of the five have emailed me back. One of those two is willing to work with me even if I miss the first week or so of school, but the second professor is much more hesitant, probably because the class I am taking from her is an eating disorder and body image class. She is worried that it will trigger me. But the thing is that I don't think that it will trigger me. I have these neat compartments that my experiences fit in. School and my ED are in totally different hemispheres. She requested permission to talk to my therapist about this, and I gave her permission, but I still feel like everyone is treating me like a child. Everyone is making decisions for me and treating me like I'm some super fragile being. This is so not what I was expecting. I kind of hate it. Okay I seriously hate it. I just want to be able to take the classes I want as soon as I return from California. I'm so frustrated. Every day that I wait for treatment is another day that I will miss school. I hate this. I just want to cry.
~Tracie
As you guys might have noticed, I haven't left for my long-awaited inpatient treatment for the anorexia. First it was the insurance company that was dragging their feet, and now, the center that they finally referred me to isn't calling me back. I was supposed to know by today what day this week I am leaving. I AM SO FRUSTRATED!!
The thing is that I really want to start school on the 30th so that I will have enough credits to graduate in May (on my birthday actually, May 11th), but if I don't take classes this term because I am in treatment, I won't be able to walk at graduation. I have emailed all my fall semester professors, and only two of the five have emailed me back. One of those two is willing to work with me even if I miss the first week or so of school, but the second professor is much more hesitant, probably because the class I am taking from her is an eating disorder and body image class. She is worried that it will trigger me. But the thing is that I don't think that it will trigger me. I have these neat compartments that my experiences fit in. School and my ED are in totally different hemispheres. She requested permission to talk to my therapist about this, and I gave her permission, but I still feel like everyone is treating me like a child. Everyone is making decisions for me and treating me like I'm some super fragile being. This is so not what I was expecting. I kind of hate it. Okay I seriously hate it. I just want to be able to take the classes I want as soon as I return from California. I'm so frustrated. Every day that I wait for treatment is another day that I will miss school. I hate this. I just want to cry.
~Tracie
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