Need to let GO!!!
God I'm sitting here at work and have down time and can't help but think how much I've lost and it puts me in a depressed mood. I understand that I need to let her go but my heart just won't allow me to and the pain intensifies with every memory. There's a song by Creed that says "My heart is tattooed on my sleeve, I'm not hiding, no, it only hurts to breathe My heart is tattooed on my sleeve I know it's blinding, oh, it only hurts to breatheStanding now, I'm alone I need answers, tell me everything you know So heavy is the night Exhausted, whispers tend to crucify my mind I'm fighting but I'm blind".
Replies
It\'s okay man. It just takes time. A lot of time - patience. And some pretty hardcore self-reflection - taken in kindness and self-love.
We all go through that \"look at what we\'ve lost\" cycle. I\'m back there right now. And I\'m blaming myself. But it isn\'t my fault. It isn\'t your fault. Life happens. To everyone. Sometimes it\'s good, sometimes it\'s bad. It most certainly isn\'t fair. We struggle as best we can. We support and comfort those in need and persevere in the shadow of our own trials and tribulations. You will get through this. Though it will not be unscathed - but you can come out the other side of this a much better person. You can look at this opportunity to do some self-examining. Look deep into some of those insecurities and decide to do something about it. You can be stronger than you realize. We all can.
I feel for you. My anguish and torment these last couple of days has been immeasurable. I too need to let go. But instead of forcing it - instead of beating myself up about it, anticipating and planning for it - it just has to happen. And it will. On its own. What I have to stop doing is the shit that makes it more difficult. Seeing her outside of just things regarding the kids and finances. Talking with her about our feelings - both of our feelings. Emailing, texting her. That\'s the shit I gotta cut out. And yeah, it is really damn hard.
Hang in there - you\'ll get through it. We\'ll all get through it.
Yeah, dburneykind of said it all. I\'m in a lot of pain myself - I\'m going to wallow in it, but I\'m also going to overcome it. That song by Creed says how you\'re feeling and that\'s good. But why not throw on somehting cheesy and inspirational now - \"Eye of the Tiger\" comes to mind \"rising up to the challenge of our rivals\". And fittingly its by - Survivor. You will get through this abetter man, Rudy. Me too.