Need to go away for a while

Dear everyone,
 
I am having a lot of issues right now, and this has been one of the hardest weeks of my life.  I am not sure what I am going to do.  My eating disorder and self-injury have gotten literally three times worse in the last week (no exaggeration) and I am dealing with dissociative issues that I haven't had in several years, and they are worse than before.  I am very scared right now.
 
My whole body hurts and I am having a hard time making it through the day.  I am trying to get in contact with my therapist so that I can have an earlier appointment, but I don't know if that will work out.  Plus I have been having a hard time leaving my room, so to go all the way downtown it will be difficult.
 
I feel really guilty about this, but I wanted to post this because sometimes people ask me for help and I feel like lately I just haven't been able to give it.  I cannot even take care of myself or make rational choices for myself and my body right now and it has never been worse.  I don't feel as though I am in a position to help anyone else right now.
 
I am not telling people not to contact me.  If you are feeling horrible, I don't want you to be alone.  Just be aware that I probably will not be able to help as well as usual.
 
I am taking a break now and need to just focus on myself and keeping me safe.  Although I have tried to help people along in the past, I have reached a point where my safety is at risk and that needs to be my priority.
 
Please be safe everyone.  I talk to some of you quite a bit and you will all be in my thoughts.  I wish you the very best.  
 
I don't know if any of you can help me at this point.  I really just need my therapist and other professionals who know me.  But I would love it if you could keep me in your thoughts.
 
Take care for now,
Denise

Replies

TwilightStar
TwilightStar

Ill be thinking of you! I truly hope things start looking up for you - I know it can be really shit hard sometimes but things CAN get better.

If you need me you know where Ill be - that pen pal thing works both ways you know!
-TS
Catlovers141
Catlovers141

Thank you. I sent you a hug back. :) It just really hurts right now. If you knew me better, you would know the significance of my telling people I can\'t help them right now. This is honestly the first time in my life that I have ever done it. I love helping my friends. But right now I am having a lot of difficulty just helping myself.

I appreciate that you took the time to read my journal and write back. Hope things improve for you too.