Need Help

OK. I am in the student computer lab. Today was the volunteer fair in the atrium of the north classroom and I signed up to be a volunteer for Denver Public Schools and their AVID program, I would be paid $10/hour and can work whatever time fits well with my schedule. It's a program for students that are college bound but need a little help and some pushing motivation. I think that it would be a great job for me and I would enjoy it. However, I am running out of steam myself here. I am not doing things to the best that they should be and today and yesterday I am missing classes. This can't be happening, I can't give up now, I need some motivation. I think having a job will be good for me as it was in high school. Now that I have Luke's old car I can get around and do more things easier. My parents are now being ass holes about paying for the repairs when they said they would, my dad complains about money a lot when he has plenty of it. I just don't understand it.
 
I am so depressed I just want to yell at him and tell him how he makes me depressed every time he brings up money and how he relates it to me. He doesn't know about my suicidal thoughts and my attempts. How would I even begin to tell him about these things and other things that are going through my head. I keep making him pay for a therapist when I have not seen one in months and that might be why I am freaking out. I am tired and worn out. I don't want to live like this anymore. I tell myself that I am going to live a happy life and make every minuet count, but then I sink so low I can't feel any happiness or anything at all. Everything is falling apart again. I think that I should go to the hospital, but I don't want to go anymore, my dad wont pay for it and I am already in a massive amount of debt. What do I do?
 
Goodnight moon.