Near to end of the situation I am in but now the final stress
Tho there is a dawn, a new day arising where this situation may finally come to an end, now I have to deal with all the final stress of my parents placement in assisted living and my brother's meltdown.
My mother keeps asking me questions to things for which I no answer, most of them dealing with small non important things. but she is finding things to worry about. I think I get my hyper sensitive nature from her. She is a martyr type personality and wants everyone to be happy even if it makes her miserable. I've tried to not be a part of it by staying away and taking care of myself but with a brother as I have a daughter who is mentally handicapped and for the last years a husband that has been getting ever more troublesome and forgetful with his Alzeimer's, she has been falling apart. Now that she may finally relax and let others help her she seems to be finding the least little thing to worry about.
It is driving me batty dealing with all of this. I feel like the only one that wants to just have a normal happy left alone life without stress and trauma. Everyone else is looking for new ways to cause worry, stress or others to feel bad.
My sister is also kinda caught in the middle but the situation is making her nervous. She also has an operation on her thyroid coming up this week to deal with and our brother who she is afraid of being left alone.
Things are coming to a close but final decisions and processes must take place before we can then get used to how our lives have come out of this. I will have to help with my mother's finances, not paying for things but handling their finances. I am also going to be taking more of a place in my sister's life, spending more time with her and helping her. My sister will have to get used to my parents not being there all the time and with new people entering her life to help take care of her and maybe even placement in a different place herself if they can't keep her in her own home.
My brother is going to have to finally take responsibility for himself and his own finances. My parents are not cutting him off. My mother decided that he is going to be either given two of their rental homes or letting him live off the rent from them until they are forced to sell them, if that ever happens. This means he has to get his own bank account, put his home's power and utilities in his own name and pay his own bills and live off the rent from the one property he is renting. He lives in the other one so this means he will basically get about 60% of what he was getting form them before.
Meanwhile, I will be int he same boat, tho I have already been living like this so it is not a problem for me. I will live off the rent from the two houses I will either be given or off their rent until they need be sold to pay for my parent's care. This means I will actually be getting more money than I need to live by about a 40% increase and so can start to save money for when I need it and also start going back to the dentist and get my eye's checked and new glasses which I have not done for over a year, tho I have needed it.
So I have to weather thro the stress and frustration of my parent's move and my brother's fits and tantrums till I can get to the other side where it actually becomes better for me in many ways.
My brother confronted me about him not being part of the decision making for what was to happen to our parents. I told him, "You were in the same meetings and heard all the things I had and had been giving your opinion all the while. You were part of the decision, it just wasn't what you wanted." He said he wasn't going to let our father to be placed in a home and I told him it wasn't his decision. He started yelling that it was and he has power of attorney. He doesn't and I told him he doesn't. He just yelled it a few more times until I explained that he has the responsibility of making a decision for their medical needs if they are unable to do it. This is not power of attorney to give you any control of them while they are awake and able to make the decision for themselves.
He went form trying to convince me that dad shouldn't be put in a home to yelling he wasn't going to let it happen to threatening me to keep switching days watching dad forever or else to crying about his father being treated so badly to saying it helped him to have dad around and kept him grounded or something. He was really irrational and slightly unbalanced and I don't think he has any idea what was really happening, only that he wanted to keep dad under his (and forced to be also my) care.
I told him if he wanted to take care of dad tell mom and take him home with you and take care of him. But he has no right to force others to take care of him with you if it is only your choice and there is alternatives that are not only there but better.
I think he only wants dad there so he can still have some control and so get his bills paid and money form them. Once he is not helpi9ng them at all he has no reason to be given so much and has no access to come over and force them to give it to him. He wants things to remain how they are and not rock his boat. honestly my mentally handicapped sister who has the mentality of a 10-11 year old is handling the whole thing better and more maturely.
I wonder if this could be the long years of pot smoking beer and cocaine and possibly other drugs that has caused him to be emotionally stunted in some way?
My mother keeps asking me questions to things for which I no answer, most of them dealing with small non important things. but she is finding things to worry about. I think I get my hyper sensitive nature from her. She is a martyr type personality and wants everyone to be happy even if it makes her miserable. I've tried to not be a part of it by staying away and taking care of myself but with a brother as I have a daughter who is mentally handicapped and for the last years a husband that has been getting ever more troublesome and forgetful with his Alzeimer's, she has been falling apart. Now that she may finally relax and let others help her she seems to be finding the least little thing to worry about.
It is driving me batty dealing with all of this. I feel like the only one that wants to just have a normal happy left alone life without stress and trauma. Everyone else is looking for new ways to cause worry, stress or others to feel bad.
My sister is also kinda caught in the middle but the situation is making her nervous. She also has an operation on her thyroid coming up this week to deal with and our brother who she is afraid of being left alone.
Things are coming to a close but final decisions and processes must take place before we can then get used to how our lives have come out of this. I will have to help with my mother's finances, not paying for things but handling their finances. I am also going to be taking more of a place in my sister's life, spending more time with her and helping her. My sister will have to get used to my parents not being there all the time and with new people entering her life to help take care of her and maybe even placement in a different place herself if they can't keep her in her own home.
My brother is going to have to finally take responsibility for himself and his own finances. My parents are not cutting him off. My mother decided that he is going to be either given two of their rental homes or letting him live off the rent from them until they are forced to sell them, if that ever happens. This means he has to get his own bank account, put his home's power and utilities in his own name and pay his own bills and live off the rent from the one property he is renting. He lives in the other one so this means he will basically get about 60% of what he was getting form them before.
Meanwhile, I will be int he same boat, tho I have already been living like this so it is not a problem for me. I will live off the rent from the two houses I will either be given or off their rent until they need be sold to pay for my parent's care. This means I will actually be getting more money than I need to live by about a 40% increase and so can start to save money for when I need it and also start going back to the dentist and get my eye's checked and new glasses which I have not done for over a year, tho I have needed it.
So I have to weather thro the stress and frustration of my parent's move and my brother's fits and tantrums till I can get to the other side where it actually becomes better for me in many ways.
My brother confronted me about him not being part of the decision making for what was to happen to our parents. I told him, "You were in the same meetings and heard all the things I had and had been giving your opinion all the while. You were part of the decision, it just wasn't what you wanted." He said he wasn't going to let our father to be placed in a home and I told him it wasn't his decision. He started yelling that it was and he has power of attorney. He doesn't and I told him he doesn't. He just yelled it a few more times until I explained that he has the responsibility of making a decision for their medical needs if they are unable to do it. This is not power of attorney to give you any control of them while they are awake and able to make the decision for themselves.
He went form trying to convince me that dad shouldn't be put in a home to yelling he wasn't going to let it happen to threatening me to keep switching days watching dad forever or else to crying about his father being treated so badly to saying it helped him to have dad around and kept him grounded or something. He was really irrational and slightly unbalanced and I don't think he has any idea what was really happening, only that he wanted to keep dad under his (and forced to be also my) care.
I told him if he wanted to take care of dad tell mom and take him home with you and take care of him. But he has no right to force others to take care of him with you if it is only your choice and there is alternatives that are not only there but better.
I think he only wants dad there so he can still have some control and so get his bills paid and money form them. Once he is not helpi9ng them at all he has no reason to be given so much and has no access to come over and force them to give it to him. He wants things to remain how they are and not rock his boat. honestly my mentally handicapped sister who has the mentality of a 10-11 year old is handling the whole thing better and more maturely.
I wonder if this could be the long years of pot smoking beer and cocaine and possibly other drugs that has caused him to be emotionally stunted in some way?
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