Nathan

Dear Ezra,

The one time a man tried to date me was because he wanted a trophy wife.  I know that sounds dramatic, and truth be told I was 18 and he was 21.  He came from money and liked to flaunt it.  When we met, he started snapping me daily and pushing for us to hang out more and more frequently.  I hoped he wanted to be friends, but he continued to hint at romantic things, and always tried to pay for me.  He would ask me about what I wanted in the future, how many kids, what career, things like that.  I told him my dream would be to make it through med school, get an apartment in downtown detroit, get a dog, and maybe eventually adopt a kid if I felt I could handle the responsibility.  I tried to emphasize how independent I wanted my life to be, and how optional a male counterpart felt.  He always said things like "Don't you realllyyyy want a nice house in the suburbs?  Don't you wan't a bunch of kids?" and so on.  Once, he even mentioned that when he has kids someone is going to have to stay home with them because he didn't want a nanny raising the children.  He made it very clear that, given the high paying job he expects to have, it will not be him.  I always hoped he wasn't trying to start anything with me, especially after he told 18-year-old me he only dates to marry, but when he kissed me one night while we were hanging out it became clear he wanted more :/ .  That friendship ended soon after when he yelled at my friend after getting drunk one night, something I'll always blame myself for.  I don't like men who just try to fuck me, and I don't like men who try to change who I am to fit the personality of someone they'd like to date.