narcissus bullshit
Yesterday was a trying day for me. I wrote my father a letter telling him everything he did to me and telling him I won't take it anymore- I fully plan to discuss that in another entry but for now something else is pissing me off.
My brother gets the struggle w my father. He lived it too. So last night he comes into my room- guess why? If you guessed that it was to ask how my day was- you would be wrong. If you guessed that it was to see how I was doing- wrong. If you guessed that it was to ask me for something- ding ding ding- that's correct! That's the only reason he ever calls or comes into my room or even talks to me.
He is the most selfish motherfucker I've ever met in my life. He's such a fucking narcissus. He lives in a pure fantasy world where every one is just supposed to give him everything, alter their lives in every way necessary just to please him. I'm sick of it. I've been used for so many years by this little prick and he continues to do it. I'm just fucking done.
He makes me feel so fucking bad. He looks at it like everyone else's life is fucking cake and he is the only person in this world that has problems. I've taken shit from him for years bc I was an asshole to him when I was a child- you hear that- WHEN I WAS A CHILD!!!! And I know that stuff that happens when we are children doesn't just disappear bc we become adults. I get that. But I apologized to him sincerely many times. And I was a fucking child man- he crucifies me like I was an adult and like I knew what I was doing. I didn't. And I take his abuse bc I still feel guilty for what I did.
Well no more. This is not only him- this is a pattern in my life- taking abuse from others bc I feel guilty about mistakes I made in the past. Human fucking mistakes. It ends here. I deserve forgiveness dammit. I'm not so fucking horrible. I forgive others for their trespasses- and those same fucking people turn around and crucify me for not being perfect.
Well I aint fucking perfect and I never will be. I wish those people who expect me to be would stay the fuck out of my life and to the extent I can control it- that's exactly what I'm going to ensure happens.
No more. I'm a human being. I deserve to be treated good. Fuck that little bitch if he doesn't see that. I'm done.
I told him about what happened w my father. He didnt even want to know more. He just went on to ask me for a favor. I told him I couldn't help him out. He wanted weed- I didn't have any. So he leaves and then comes back in - turns on my light (it was off bc I was trying to sleep) and tells me some nonsense about what happened at work. Wakes me up for it. What the fuck man? No more. I deserve better.
My brother gets the struggle w my father. He lived it too. So last night he comes into my room- guess why? If you guessed that it was to ask how my day was- you would be wrong. If you guessed that it was to see how I was doing- wrong. If you guessed that it was to ask me for something- ding ding ding- that's correct! That's the only reason he ever calls or comes into my room or even talks to me.
He is the most selfish motherfucker I've ever met in my life. He's such a fucking narcissus. He lives in a pure fantasy world where every one is just supposed to give him everything, alter their lives in every way necessary just to please him. I'm sick of it. I've been used for so many years by this little prick and he continues to do it. I'm just fucking done.
He makes me feel so fucking bad. He looks at it like everyone else's life is fucking cake and he is the only person in this world that has problems. I've taken shit from him for years bc I was an asshole to him when I was a child- you hear that- WHEN I WAS A CHILD!!!! And I know that stuff that happens when we are children doesn't just disappear bc we become adults. I get that. But I apologized to him sincerely many times. And I was a fucking child man- he crucifies me like I was an adult and like I knew what I was doing. I didn't. And I take his abuse bc I still feel guilty for what I did.
Well no more. This is not only him- this is a pattern in my life- taking abuse from others bc I feel guilty about mistakes I made in the past. Human fucking mistakes. It ends here. I deserve forgiveness dammit. I'm not so fucking horrible. I forgive others for their trespasses- and those same fucking people turn around and crucify me for not being perfect.
Well I aint fucking perfect and I never will be. I wish those people who expect me to be would stay the fuck out of my life and to the extent I can control it- that's exactly what I'm going to ensure happens.
No more. I'm a human being. I deserve to be treated good. Fuck that little bitch if he doesn't see that. I'm done.
I told him about what happened w my father. He didnt even want to know more. He just went on to ask me for a favor. I told him I couldn't help him out. He wanted weed- I didn't have any. So he leaves and then comes back in - turns on my light (it was off bc I was trying to sleep) and tells me some nonsense about what happened at work. Wakes me up for it. What the fuck man? No more. I deserve better.
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