My real name has been nothing but bad luck from day flipping one. I am going to change it this yr point blank. I am really beginning to hate Alberta with a passion. I get nothing but the run around here and I just think I am going to write the minister of health yet again. It won't be the first time I fought with the healthcare system. I won the first time and I am going to win again. This time it's about not needing a doctor's refferal to access MENTAL HEALTH> I know what's going on with me and I know that simple counselling does not work with me. There are far....way more far issues I have been dealing with and going on through out my lifetime where my own kids call me a walking timebomb. What do I have to do to make them realize to stop pushing people aside? I'm full of scars from previous self harm, my head don't work right, I don't know if it is a reflection of having Arnold Chiari Malformation. I avoid society as much as possible because what if I do have an episode where I just lash out? It's happened in the past where I almost took the life of my siblings as well as myself. I don't want to go there again. Right now I still have some control, for how long I just don't know. I know that if this was BC or Saskatchewan I'd have the help like right now. So what is Alberta's problem? It just seems like they don't take things seriously enough. I am tired of hurting in every which way, I'm tired of not being able to feel happy, I'm tired of not being able to feel nothing but pain and I'm tired of the way society operates. I'm tired of living a lifeless body and just want to go home. I got to somehow put up with it though huh? I can't hurt my daughter by just giving up on everything and that though hurts the most.