Mystery solved
Well, this is how it works: IF You put a lock (only friends or only me can see it) on the journal entry, it is not available (not here anyway) as a 'next' or 'previous'. BUT you can always go to the column of journal entries by date... down on the right side banner... and click on any one of 'em. There. I will test it with this one... no lock.
Heidi and I have been doing great stuff together. On all levels, I mean. Body, mind and soul. Last night we cooked some yummo spaghetti sauce in my new kitchen: first cooking together in there. SO much fun. I was very hungry after a run and we made fennel-red onion-olive-tomato-pesto with organic ground sirloin pasta sauce and had it over ezekial sprouted grain pasta, with a little grated manchego cheese on top. Bliss. Then we just knit by the fireplace, went outside for stars and cold. Sat with a quilt wrapped around us, feeling the heat of the side against each other.
This morning we went to a yoga class, lots of very cleansing twists and lunges. Ahhhh. Then to a yarn and fiber store. I am going to make wool 'rocks'... yes, as if there aren't enough rocks in Maine, I'm making more. Ha. My vision is of a bowl of soft felted rocks. NOt with soap in the middle a la Martha Stewart. Just light fuzzy rocks. Heidi bought lots of fleece and wool and patterns for knitting, because she has a trip to her grandmother's coming up and it will be nice to have something sociable to do together.
The best part is just someone HERE with whom I can share all the random little memories. When we feel the wool and say, "Oh, cozy!" then my mind sparks and rushes with a memory: After Andy went from his hospice bed into the bathroom, and sat on the commode and pee'd, with two or three people helping his blind weak body, his poor shot mind, he was shivering and cold (naked, would NOT wear anything) and he whimpered a one word request, "Cozy?" So they took him back into his bed and Heidi got under the covers and held him until, yes, cozy.
We have sung songs and remembered so many things about Andy. She has shared emails and photos and funny stories. Our bonny bunny boy, one of a kind. WHen I hold her tight in my arms (the most squeezable person ever) I feel like my bunny, my Andy is inside, saying, "thank you Mummoo. I am very cozy."
Heidi and I have been doing great stuff together. On all levels, I mean. Body, mind and soul. Last night we cooked some yummo spaghetti sauce in my new kitchen: first cooking together in there. SO much fun. I was very hungry after a run and we made fennel-red onion-olive-tomato-pesto with organic ground sirloin pasta sauce and had it over ezekial sprouted grain pasta, with a little grated manchego cheese on top. Bliss. Then we just knit by the fireplace, went outside for stars and cold. Sat with a quilt wrapped around us, feeling the heat of the side against each other.
This morning we went to a yoga class, lots of very cleansing twists and lunges. Ahhhh. Then to a yarn and fiber store. I am going to make wool 'rocks'... yes, as if there aren't enough rocks in Maine, I'm making more. Ha. My vision is of a bowl of soft felted rocks. NOt with soap in the middle a la Martha Stewart. Just light fuzzy rocks. Heidi bought lots of fleece and wool and patterns for knitting, because she has a trip to her grandmother's coming up and it will be nice to have something sociable to do together.
The best part is just someone HERE with whom I can share all the random little memories. When we feel the wool and say, "Oh, cozy!" then my mind sparks and rushes with a memory: After Andy went from his hospice bed into the bathroom, and sat on the commode and pee'd, with two or three people helping his blind weak body, his poor shot mind, he was shivering and cold (naked, would NOT wear anything) and he whimpered a one word request, "Cozy?" So they took him back into his bed and Heidi got under the covers and held him until, yes, cozy.
We have sung songs and remembered so many things about Andy. She has shared emails and photos and funny stories. Our bonny bunny boy, one of a kind. WHen I hold her tight in my arms (the most squeezable person ever) I feel like my bunny, my Andy is inside, saying, "thank you Mummoo. I am very cozy."
Replies
Sad and wonderful all at the same time....
He knew \"cozy\" from you, Sarah. He sought \"cozy\" because of the mother that you are.
So glad that Heidi is there.
Much love,
Soos
Yes, sad but beautiful memories. May you feel cozy and enveloped in your sweet memories and Andy\'s love. Love to you and your family, Linda
Cozy... Isn\'t that how we all love to feel. Swaddled... my heart is so glad that you are experiencing this time with precious Heidi as new memories are being made and woven gently into the past. Love to you both, Joanie
nice you have this wonderful girl in your life .did andy and her marry? and have a child. i can,t remember . so glad your having such a nice week. good for you painful but we all go through the pain of just loosing our kids. lots of hugs zzz
Okay, your meal does sound like absolute bliss. I am not familiar with manchego cheese, but you can bet I will be soon! How blessed you are to have someone who loved your son so much, and is not afraid to re-visit all of the memories.
Yours and Heidi\'s relationship is enriching to all who read about it here...so happy for you.
Love and light, Rebecca
Sad but happy at the same time. I can realy relate to the skinny, boney part. My baby boy lost so much weight and his hair but he was still beautiful.
I am so glad that Heidi and you have been able to share all these memories.
Nell in Georgia
Oh my gosh - you are making me hungry! I love the thought that Andy could snuggle in bed with Heidi despite everything....feel warm and loved at that moment. I know the same happened with David and I am so grateful. What a loving, healing time you are both having together - cozy, too! Peace to you ~ Joanna
The ties that bind. Two women, who share and amazing man, as Mother and wife. Luck Andy, that he had you both. Glad you are together, sharing your love, for him and each other. Hugs.
Your journal is so full of warmth and love. I couldn\'t be more happy for you having Heidi there for a visit . The two of you compliment each other. Snug Hugs!
Love your love for Heidi and of course Andy...it seeps from your words...warms my heart and comforts my soul...love to you...Karen
cozy, for sure...thx for sharing.
Thx. jules
so full of love!! That is what cozy is!!! xoxox Wendy
That\'s beautiful. It is so good you have each other xxxx
I\'m so glad you both had this time together. I\'m sure Andy is smiling and cozy for an eternity....