My wife is investing herself, but missing the target
I really haven't had much to report lately. My wife has been very engaged in our marriage and seems genuinely happy to do so. I can tell there is a significant amount of relief in her mind having made the decision to stay. The apartment she leased is a financial drain but we'll make it through somehow. My 18 year old has moved into it while going to college but he is not able to pay for anything. We are trying to find a roommate for him but his friends aren't able to contribute and he is not interested in rooming with a stranger.
My wife has been experiencing nesting urges. She is planning renovations for our home like crazy. Carpet upstairs, replacing gutter system, tearing out our back deck and putting in a new patio are some of the plans we are now making. She is also wanting to plan a family beach vacation in the summer. All these plans are extremely reassuring to me that she is invested in our future. My only concern is that she is not addressing whatever caused her to feel like separation was her best recourse a couple months ago. I really want to have both of us participate in a comprehensive marriage building or marriage counseling. I don't want to in any way through negativity into what she is feeling right now, though. I'm not sure how I can approach this without messing up all the positive progress we've been making.
My wife has been experiencing nesting urges. She is planning renovations for our home like crazy. Carpet upstairs, replacing gutter system, tearing out our back deck and putting in a new patio are some of the plans we are now making. She is also wanting to plan a family beach vacation in the summer. All these plans are extremely reassuring to me that she is invested in our future. My only concern is that she is not addressing whatever caused her to feel like separation was her best recourse a couple months ago. I really want to have both of us participate in a comprehensive marriage building or marriage counseling. I don't want to in any way through negativity into what she is feeling right now, though. I'm not sure how I can approach this without messing up all the positive progress we've been making.
Replies
I am so happy to hear that your wife is doing this nesting and planning! This is a very good sign to me and I agree that I too, would be reassured as well.
But I hear you on your concern as the \"issue\" that had her first feel this way has not been addressed. And this would concern me as well. But how do you broach this subject without rocking the boat? That is the really hard question.
I guess, and I can only speak for myself, that I probably wouldnt rock the boat at this time...I would wait awhile and allow her to re-engage herself into the household and the family. IF however, there is a sudden shift in the near future in her behavior, I would absolutely get into counseling fast.
The only possible other option that I see for now, is if you are involved in a church and feel that maybe it wouldnt upset her too much to counsel with your minister, priest, etc. then this would be a nice and safe option.
This is very delicate as you know....but all things considered, I see her current actions as very very positive and I am so happy for you.
Take care and hugsss
Sandy