my time my place....it helps.

coming here, when i speak to so few it helps to come here and talk.

i've been doing my chores with that curious sense of well being and dread.  the pain will hit because i did these things.  tidied the bed....showered, dried my bangs.....fluffed my hair, got dressed.  because i pulled 4 outdoor plants out of their pots, put them in bags to return them, sadly they all died.  we've had plenty of rain and all the other outdoor babies are thriving.......so these poor dead plants are going back.  it's $24 so it's good to take them back and find stronger plants to bring home.  because i emptied the dishwasher and watered the indoor plant babies.....cleaned up a mess per cat........Rio ....oh Rio, he barfed on the white rug.  I've been working on the reddish orange stain for days.  Of course I feel bad for Rio........the question is does Rio feel bad for me?  I love Rio, sad that he got sick.....it's the discovery of the mess that churns my tummy......and the clean up.  Then Mia decided it was her turn.  I made scrambled eggs for breakfast.......added water to the empty skillet to soak. I came in here to clean up the breakfast dishes and Mia  had knocked the pan around in search of scrambled egg bits.  There was water all over the place, the counter, dripping down the side of the cupboard, on the floor..........these cats are determined to keep me bending and moving.......they are the captains of my drill team.  those kitties........last night when i couldn't sleep mia came in for a good ear scratching and overall petting time just for her. 

i finally gave up trying to get back to sleep and sat in my recliner.  watched tv in that half asleep half awake mode until early this morning, crawled back into bed and laid there willing a headache to take off and leave me alone.  ........i have some want tos......i want to take things off the patio and put the pretty blue and white patio pad down, but that would be a gigantic mistake so i won't.

the patio has 4 chairs, 2 side tables, one outdoor dining table......plus the patio umbrella, assorted plants.......and every thing would have to be lifted and moved.  then returned to their spots.......i so love to make things pretty and i am trying to be smart here.  you would think the results of those two mri's would be enough to stop me in my tracks.  i wish i had someone who would help me with this.......it gets harder and harder to ask others.  i have to pay them or make the kids step up......since this is more of a luxury want than an actual need i think better not.

let it go.  so about today.......i can take the plants back.  two go back to home depot and the other two go back to walmart.  i went through the frig and realized all that delicios cantaloupe i cut up had gone bad........i completely forgot all about it.  melon is so cool and delicious.  i got another bag of those crazy good heirloon oranges to snack on......yum.

someone told me about a new ross store in athens.  so i wonder if i could enjoy a drive to athens and find this place.  the lady said it's on Epps Road or maybe it was Epps Bridge Road.......I only know one area of Athens, but she enticed me saying it's a brand new store, very big, great stock.  but truthfully what do i really need?  i would love to find two more blue and white pillow cases.  found the last two at ross......they are so pretty.  very subtle and soft........ross is a discount store with home decor, pet items, kitchen wares, bedding/towels, clothing for all ages.......great prices.  found a pair of white jean material capris for summer for all of $6.99.  anywhere else they would have been three times that price.  felt so lucky and they have this really pretty lace accent around the bottom of the capris.  not cheap capris at all........really good white jean fabric, pockets, have a zipper.  not just some stretchy leggings, which are super comfy but sometimes i like something a little more........or as an old friend of mine would have said, "mo bettah......"

not sure that i should go anywhere after not sleeping well.  it can wait.......i can wait.  just trying to offset the alone of it all with the idea of not staying here all day long.  i didn't think the trash guys would come today since it's a holiday........so i didn't take the trash    to the curb..........and then i heard their big ol truck lumbering down my street.........well shoot!  oh well......

i miss the idea of my pony tail.......but really enjoy how easy it is to have shorter hair right now.  rub my head, part my hair, dry my bags and fluff the curls with my fingers......add product to enhance the curls as needed and that's it.  it would probably look a lot more finished/styled if i used a blow dryer or curling iron but that will have to wait til i can do it without wincing.......

just prattling on about dumb stuff trying to hide my sadness.  keeping busy helps........making small plans help.  i've lost pretty much all of my confidence when it comes to people now.  maybe it will come back when the pain levels go down ...... the pain in my neck, shoulders, legs and back is pretty lousy. 

there is a welcome lunch for the new paster and her hubby at Midway on Sunday July 14th........i put a bright highlighted note on my desk to keep it in my sights as something to do.  if i could i would like to go to the 11 am service, bring a potluck dish to share and see everybody for a bit and meet Pastor Liza and her mate Michael.  i like to hope i can do stuff........maybe baby.

later  y'all ...happy independence day!!!!!!!!  i used to watch the fireworks at the white house every year, but i don't have regular tv anymore so that's out........they always did a program on the big lawn near the white house with great entertainment........almost as good as seeing fireworks live.  almost...............

hugs, ruthie