My sister means well but,,,
My sister is driving me crazy! I know that she means well and i love her for that and appreciate her concern but she calls me up and harasses me about matt saying things like don't let him hang out with friends You can't let him go anywhere etc... etc... The problem is as much as i would LOVE to keep him home as a sober prisoner that is just not reality. I have alot more say in where and who he goes with than most parents do at 18 1/2 years old but I do not have complete control over him nor do I want that because he needs to control himself and I know that he is trying to do that it does not happen overnight as much as i would like it to it just doesn't. I have set the rules NO MORE CAR done and I am sticking to it! If he tests positive for any drugs he will be sent away to a inpatient program that i found in upstate NY and I will probably have to sell my truck to do it but i don't care it is just a car and nothing is more important than getting my son better!!! I hope it doesn't come to that because I don't want him to fail but I will cross that bridge when and if I have to. The thing is my sister herself has a drinking problem and when she has a few glasses of wine along with the xanax she is prescribed ( which should never be mixed ) she is unrelentless crying about my son and how devasted she is I don't doubt that but she really needs to take a look in the mirror because she has 3 children a 16 yr old daughter who is a great kid but watches her mother get screwed up at every single get together an 11 yr old son who is truely one of the sweetest kids i have ever met and an 8 yr old son who has aspergers synd and can be very difficult at times but all the more reason my sister should stay sober The sad truth is that my son Matt has told me he is concerned for my sister funny how they can both see the other ones behavior and know its a problem I guess its a case of do as i say, not as I do.
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oh, Dee. Family is so dicey. I have had a very similar situation, I mentioned slightly in a journal entry about my italian, hot tempered, knows everything brother. He actually start crap at the party, at my home, for seans homecoming that sean wasn\'t talking to his son??? Sean was so taken back and of course, I was so nervous (thinking relapse) of course, but I realize he is just ignorant and unless you live this life of addicition you just don\'t know. After all did we really know until it affect us? no we didn\'t. But heres the best I spoke to Sean afterwards, and he said, you know Mom Uncle pete, doesn\'t mean harm he was talking to me saying your staying clean, right seanny, and my son said yes, and then he proceeded to tell him stay clean and in a few years, you can have a few beers?????REALLY. I know what your also saying about seeing someone else and Matt feeling sorry, my other sister is anerexic and in complete denial, and I have tried,I actually drove her to Renfrew center in Philly, for her to come skippping out after 5 minutes and saying we can go now. I stood up and said we are going nowhere, and went back in to talk to the therpist. But Sean always says even when he was using Aunt Lynda needs help Mom. Sorry for my tyrant. The point is, your sister clearly doens\'t know what she is doing, just like my brother, they mean well, but they only know what they know. And your Matt he is a smart sensitive boy, so he sees from afar, but of course he is an addict and needs to help himself first, then he can help your sister. I have said to my brother nd some other family members ( I have 5 other siblings) Ken and I will handle his addicition, you will love and support him if you want to. Period, because unless you are ever faced with this and I hope to god none of you will be you don\'t know. End of story. I hope Matt goes in patient for him, Dee and if and when he does make sure he goes into Sober living afterwards, from my experience, it is what has kept sean clean this long. Family! whew, they can be the best and also the thorn in your side. Hugs, my friend.
Hi Dee thanks i know family is great but they also drive you crazy. You are right about people not knowing unless they have been there I had NO CLUE how bad things get in the addiction world untill I lived through it and WOW is ignorance bliss! I remember you saying a little something about your brother and sister inlaw and saying something to Sean wow I bet you were livid all that hard work and his 1st time home to have ANY incident was not necessary BUT Sean did great in handling it and that is such a good sign for the future cause as we know we can\'t keep them stress free in this crazy world we live in but we don\'t want any potential triggers especially from family members and especially when it is still in the early stages. Matt is doing ok has 1 more class left and then he takes his big test for his E.P.A. certification which he needs in his field ( refrigeration tech) so I\'ll be happy when he passes it and we can say see Matt another milestone reached since you have sobered up. I hate weekends cause thats when he goes out all week he is too busy with work school counseling so I can\'t wait till I can enjoy weekends again we he is well with lots of sober time behind him maybe then and I said maybe I can breathe a sigh of relief ! So YOU have a good weekend! Hugs Dee