my self/ her judgement

it's as if i'm ready to bust out of myself and be my fucking self, but i'm holding myself back, because i don't want to hurt jess in any way, either, how she might personally react, or possibly disagree with me, or her father, or whatever....... what the hell should i fuckin do??? i can't keep on keepin myself down!!! it's fuckin killing me!!!! i have GOT to find a compromise, a BALANCE... absolutely.
huh. i fear that her religion will dictate her to judge me, and then worry for my soul or whatever. goddamn christianity. shes already got so much on her fuckin plate. this damn religion is gonna bring her down, i fear.... FUCK.