My second autoimmune disease

Disease is such a nasty word… but how else would you describe it as?

I have had Celiac for about 6 years now and I was just starting to move on. Move on with my life, embrace myself, and to be more accepting of people who just didn’t understand what it was like.

A lot of people ask why it took so long and I always give the example of an alcoholic. If you were an alcoholic for over half your life and then you had to cut cold turkey could you do it? What if every day you were surrounded by it, the smell of it drove you crazy, and people didn’t understand why you actually gave it up because they didn’t see that you had a problem. This example really makes people think about what it would be like if they gave their favorite foods up, but just like anything in life we must move on… and I was trying.

I was so close to just saying it’s ok and that is just your life, when the most tragic thing you could think of happened. I got diagnosed with another autoimmune disease and this one seemed to be worse. My doctor, who I love to death, put me on medication and sent me out the door.

I remember driving home saying it over and over in my head: Rheumatoid arthritis.

I hate when you first get diagnosed with something because they give you that little handout with happy people smiling (probably because they don’t have the disease). As I skimmed the paper, I already knew what it said: my body was attacking my joins, causing them to be inflamed, swell, and hurt like a bitch. As I kept reading my stomach dropped further and further into my body.

Just like after I got diagnosed with Celiac, all I was thinking about was what I was going to have to give up. What was I going to have to stop doing? What things that I loved were once more going to be ripped out my swollen little sausage fingers…. the answer was athletics.

Athletics had been such a huge part of my life. I played soccer for eight years and another three sports in high school. After high school I stuck to the gym with my boyfriend (who had played football in high school) so that we felt healthy and strong together. I couldn’t have imagined my life without it. Luckily for me I got to keep some, like swimming and yoga which are non-impact activity and the two most boring things in the world.

I watched as my undesired athletic career drifted away from me and how I would have to stick to my first choice, which was teaching. I’m sure there will be plenty of challenges facing me over the next couple of months, attempting to get use to this new identity I was given. Though the truth of the matter is, this IS real and this IS happening.