My Psy.D. the new one

Today I had an appointment with my new Psy.D. She was great. This was a time where we were to get to know one another and we really hit it off. We talked about me and the tough times that I have gone through in the last three years and she really understood, even though she doesn't specialize in Bipolar II. But, I have learned that not many doctors actually advertise the Bipolar condition, they simply express very common symptoms like anxiety, panic disorder, or depression. Even though I have an enormous list of diagnoses. So most of the time we deal with the larger image of Bipolar II. I still question how I moved from being completely sane and extremely involved in life to becoming somewhat impaired with this disease. I am so uset and I was having some real thoughts of suicide today and that seriously scares me. I am not a suicidal person but I just want to let go. I want to just leave this stress and go somewhere else... anywhere else. I hope that things improve. I just want to be happy and successful again...