My Prayer for Today
My Prayer for Today First of all my prayers are with the families of those who lost love ones eight years ago today. It was an awful day that we are not soon to forget. I remember the way we all came together as Americans. On that day we were not Republicans or Democrats. We were all Americans. I just wish we could come together like that these days in light of Health Care Reform. We are so divided on this subject. It makes me sick about all the hate mongers spreading vicious rumors. Please Dear God, let them come up with a solution that will be right for everyone. Next my prayer is for all my sisters that are going through such a tough time right now. My heart goes out to you. You all have helped me through the darkest time of my life, and I hope I can help you as well. No one understands what we have gone/going through with this insidious disease like we do. How if felt when we were first diagnosed. The fear that grips your heart. How it felt to tell your children. The fear every time you get your blood drawn. Please God help my sisters through this. Lastly for myself. I want to thank God for keeping me cancer free for this time. Sometimes I wonder why I was spared, when so many of my sisters were not. My life has been so difficult since Cancer. I wonder why sometimes why I was spared, just to go through the terrible things I have been going through. Losing jobs, not being able to find a job, after filling out hundreds of applications and going on dozens of interviews. I have not worked in a month and my finances are in a mess. At this point I don’t even want to try anymore for fear of more rejections. I need all of your prayers Maybe this seems trite to some of you that are going through chemo and still battling Cancer, but it is a serious concern to me. I guess this is more of a rant. Thanks for reading. Love Hugs and Prayers to all of you.Anita
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Whoopieee... Don\'t ever forget that this is for YOU.. and we are here for each other.. So looking forward to hearing more from you both and anyone else who is holding back.. It\'s often just a case of sticking your neck out.. I knwo I sometimes wrote things that i thought would put poeple off only to fine that these were the very things people responded to best.. Loving you loads xxxx
We are a unique tribe, linked by our friendship with Halli-Inka. Life after cancer (whether it returns or not) has been wonderous one year and heartbreakingly challenging the next. What once was is not what it appears as today. This incredible group of women has shown me that HOPE is a journey that has changed me forever. Thanks anitaama for remaining steadfast to Inka, while folks like me have to flit about to maintain the path. =)
Anita, I am glad our words gave you some hope and comfort. I too hope for Health Care Reform. I am tired of the Hate Mongers like you. They try to blur or oblierate the truth.
So many great people I have met here at DS, esp OVCA patients and suvivors. I too worry that my life is to boring to write about, but I find many others are intrested. I am always intrested in what you have to say. Like I said, you are a very intellegent person! I hope to read more from you, hopefully with good news on the jobfront. If not, feel free to vent. That is why we are here. I don\'t know how I would make friends if it weren\'t for my son now that I don\'t work. I miss my friends from work, but I need to be off. Maybe someday I will go back, but I think I would rather work from home.
Good luck to you on your job search. I will have Nick say a special prayer for you tonight. - Julie
Anita, after rereading my post, I meant to say, \"I too am tired of the Hate Mongers\" I hope you didn\'t think I meant you were a hate monger. I hope you knew what I meant.
Julie I knew what you meant. No worries. Thank you for saying I am intelligent. Sometimes I wonder what lingering effects chemo has had on me and then again there is the age thing. When my kids were little I had a lot of friends. Friends I thought I would have for life. When I got divorced things changed drastically. We were 7 families that lived on the same block. We all had small childern at the time and move in to this very new subdivision at the same time. We were all new to the Houston area and we bonded quickly. We were like family to each other since none of us had family here. We spent holidays together and bbq\'s on the weekends. We had a blast. Now I go years without seeing them. Some moved away but two are still here. The last time I saw them was when one of the ones that moved away was here visiting her daughter. At the time I had just started chemo and it was my Birthday. I enjoyed the lunch we had together very much. But I have not heard from them since. It has been almost two years. They are all still married and finacially well off. So I guess I don\'t have anything in common with them anymore. Okay. Another part of my life I am opening up about. I guess that is good. More to come.
I know what you mean, friends just drop away. But don\'t feel like you have nothing in common with them. Sometimes people are just wrapped up in their busy lives, unfortunately. I have some close friends that I haven\'t talked to in a while because they work, have kids and just don\'t have the time. They all say, we will do lunch, get you out of the house, but then they disappear .
It is hard being home all the time. I am glad you do yoga. If it wasn\'t for Nick, I would go to my Bible Study. It looks like fun. I met 2 nice people there. I am sure that your time is filled with job hunting, but maybe joining another group, like a womens\'s group of some kind would help you meet other friends. Also you could join a support group for those looking for work, and meet people there that you could lean on and help you with your job search. Just an idea. But whatever you do make sure you are comfortabel and no-stressed, like others have said. Again much luck to you in all matters of your life. You are very special to me and I hate seeing you in pain. Love nad hugs - Julie
Thank you Julie, you are special to me too. I love reading your journals. They bring me back to the time when my kids were little. I just recently joined a senior group, for people 62 and older. Only problem is most of them are much older. But I will go. It is every Tues. They do different things. Like last week it was Bingo. This week it is a pot luck. So at least it will give me something to do while I am looking. I do enjoy my Yoga and I still do water aerobics, but have not been in a couple of weeks. I hope to go tomorrow.
Hey.. I\'m 54 so wouldn\'t be able to join your group.. humph. hope you find some fun there.
I used to have lots of friends too, like you, Anita, we all had young children and were like a family for many years.. Life is quieter now and I value having fewer friends, but would never wish to be without the few I have. I think once you make the decision to get out there and make a few friends, the rest is easy, as so many good folk are looking for the same thing.. xxxxxx
I recently dyed my hair because I though the grey hair was putting people off as far as finding a job. I was paid a very nice compliment when I talked to the organizer of the senior club. She said oh you are prabably too young. You have to be 62. I just laughed and and said I was going to be 64 next month. So I guess the dyed hair is working. I very much enjoyed the compliment.
Great idea with the hair.. seems like it is already having a good effect.. hope it brings you luck with the job hunt.. Hope you get to the water aerobics and yoga this week all these things will keep your spirits up.. of course the best of all is time with the grand children.. I still don\'t have any.. but I do have two very lazy pup that have been on their backs.. legs in the air.. on my bed all day.. and I thought I was the one needed to rest.. xxxxxx
I agree about the dogs. My dog Storm loves it when I rest, as he does the same. I thought that only my dog was a lazy one. He too lays on his back wiht his legs in the air. He is such good company during the day.
Anita, it looks as if you are on the road to both finding new friends and getting that special job. I think the fact that you dyed your hair will have a great effect. I have not dyed my hair since chemo began, and I am sure I look older than my 39 years. I am happy for you as I believe things are looking up. Have faith. - Julie
Dear Anita, your words were so heartfelt and honest. You are so strong and and I just know that life will get better and good things are ahead for you.
Sorry this is so late, I\'ve been working and then visiting my mom in San Diego.
Keeping you in my prayers and sending you a big hug and lots of positive energy! xxx LuEllen