My Own Expectations...

So I had a sort of realization yesterday as I was chatting with a total stranger... So my depression really began first year of university; originally because I hated the university and the program I was in and that slowly progressed and I guess whatever issues I've had before just magnified and made a huge input to what happened next... Anyway, since that year I kept thinking that to get out of the depression phase, all I needed was to get into a good undergraduate program and lose weight. I thought if I did that everything else would just fall into place. I would have more self-confidence, I would be more social, I wouldn't feel so lonely, and all those problems would just heal themselves.
Today, I've lost weight, by BMI standards I'm less than 8 pounds away from "normal" and I'm in a full-time undergrad program with only one more year to go... yet I still feel lonely, I'm still not really social, my self-confidence is really low, and when I look at myself in the mirror and see that same fat ugly girl. But as much as those issues hurt me, I think my expectation that everything would be better, that I would've "healed" by now, is what's hurting me more. The fact that I failed, not to meet the expectations of others, but my own.