My Mom's in the Hospital
Last night after I did my journal and was getting ready for bed, I got a phone call from my mom's husband saying she was in the hospital. They think she had a minor stroke. She can talk and move her left side fine, but she's having trouble moving the right side of her body. She's up in Jacksonville, and I wish I could be there for her, but I'm broke and I can't get up there to be with her. I wish I had a car... if I did I would have gone up there last night. I'm worried about her... I'm talking to a friend right now and he's telling me that I have to not worry about things I have no control over, that she's in the hands of professionals and everything. I know this, but at the same time it's hard not to worry when my mom just had a stroke, you know? I don't know what to do for her... I wish I could go up there and take care of her, but there's nothing I can do. Just to be by her side, hold her hand and read to her or something would be wonderful right now, or watch her sleep. She didn't sleep well last night, and she has to stay in the hospital again tonight since they aren't done running their tests.
-sigh- I'm feeling a bit better after talking to my friend. He's assuring me that even if she doesn't have health insurance, it's not the end of the world. My mom doesn't have the best credit, so it's not like it's going to wreck her that way. She's not going to lose her car or anything (well, it's not her car to lose anyway). I'm just worried that she won't be able to work anymore, but then there's always disability, right? If she can't move the right side of her body, it kinda prevents her from working. And then they would cover the last 3 months of health insurance from before she became disabled, so her hospital visit would be covered as well. She would just have to go through the same long process that Geo and I had to go through. She's only done one thing her whole life (draperies), so not being able to do the measurements and stuff would disqualify her from working.
I don't know. I've been feeling a bit better today, even though my mom was not doing so well. At least I know why I was feeling like crap yesterday. I'm very sensitive to how my family is doing, so if one of them isn't doing well, I feel it and I feel off. I should have known something was up, but I've been going through my own stuff emotionally and didn't know where it was coming from. I'm feeling more confident that my mom is going to be okay. She is able to talk and move a bit on the right side of her body, so it couldn't have been that bad of a stroke. I know it's not good that she had one in the first place, but it could have been a lot worse. The thing that makes me the most annoyed is that she waited to get help. She had a headache and the numbness for a couple days before she went in to the hospital. She's lucky she didn't get another stroke, or something worse. I hope they find out what's wrong and can help to fix her. I'm waiting for her to call with the results of the MRI. I think her phone is dead, so I'm going to have to call her husband to find out.
Mood today was okay... I feel more at peace now than I did yesterday, and less tired. I slept a ton again last night... I slept until about 1:30pm when I had to get up and go to work. Once I was at work things got better. I started to feel normal again. I wanted to stay home and sleep since I slept like crap last night, but I'm so glad I didn't. I needed to get back into my normal routine again so I could move on. What good would it have done to stay at home and do nothing? All I would have done is worry more, and that would have just made me feel worse. Tomorrow I'm going to try and go into work a bit early, just to see if I can. I need to be able to start getting up earlier, and sleeping in until noon is not the way to do it. I woke up today at 10, and I didn't know what to do with my day, so I went back to sleep. Tomorrow if I do that, I'm going to get up and go to work early. Oh, and I'm applying for a job there, too, so we will see how that goes.
Food today was good... I was close to my calories today, and I ate my veggies. Stress was high, of course, since I was worried about my mom, but I was able to avoid emotional eating. I actually had to force myself to eat something for lunch since I wasn't hungry. Sleep was not disturbed, but not deep. I don't remember dreaming. Hopefully I sleep well tonight!
-sigh- I'm feeling a bit better after talking to my friend. He's assuring me that even if she doesn't have health insurance, it's not the end of the world. My mom doesn't have the best credit, so it's not like it's going to wreck her that way. She's not going to lose her car or anything (well, it's not her car to lose anyway). I'm just worried that she won't be able to work anymore, but then there's always disability, right? If she can't move the right side of her body, it kinda prevents her from working. And then they would cover the last 3 months of health insurance from before she became disabled, so her hospital visit would be covered as well. She would just have to go through the same long process that Geo and I had to go through. She's only done one thing her whole life (draperies), so not being able to do the measurements and stuff would disqualify her from working.
I don't know. I've been feeling a bit better today, even though my mom was not doing so well. At least I know why I was feeling like crap yesterday. I'm very sensitive to how my family is doing, so if one of them isn't doing well, I feel it and I feel off. I should have known something was up, but I've been going through my own stuff emotionally and didn't know where it was coming from. I'm feeling more confident that my mom is going to be okay. She is able to talk and move a bit on the right side of her body, so it couldn't have been that bad of a stroke. I know it's not good that she had one in the first place, but it could have been a lot worse. The thing that makes me the most annoyed is that she waited to get help. She had a headache and the numbness for a couple days before she went in to the hospital. She's lucky she didn't get another stroke, or something worse. I hope they find out what's wrong and can help to fix her. I'm waiting for her to call with the results of the MRI. I think her phone is dead, so I'm going to have to call her husband to find out.
Mood today was okay... I feel more at peace now than I did yesterday, and less tired. I slept a ton again last night... I slept until about 1:30pm when I had to get up and go to work. Once I was at work things got better. I started to feel normal again. I wanted to stay home and sleep since I slept like crap last night, but I'm so glad I didn't. I needed to get back into my normal routine again so I could move on. What good would it have done to stay at home and do nothing? All I would have done is worry more, and that would have just made me feel worse. Tomorrow I'm going to try and go into work a bit early, just to see if I can. I need to be able to start getting up earlier, and sleeping in until noon is not the way to do it. I woke up today at 10, and I didn't know what to do with my day, so I went back to sleep. Tomorrow if I do that, I'm going to get up and go to work early. Oh, and I'm applying for a job there, too, so we will see how that goes.
Food today was good... I was close to my calories today, and I ate my veggies. Stress was high, of course, since I was worried about my mom, but I was able to avoid emotional eating. I actually had to force myself to eat something for lunch since I wasn't hungry. Sleep was not disturbed, but not deep. I don't remember dreaming. Hopefully I sleep well tonight!
Replies
Sorry to hear about your mom. Hope she is better soon.
You are a very caring daughter(and person). Don\'t beat yourself up because you want to be with her... It\'s difficult not to be able to just run over and see her. It\'s true right now you have no control over that.
I am sure she understands that you can\'t come to see her now.. Can you call her and speak to her on the phone? that may make you both feel better.
Sorry to hear about your mom, I hope she gets well soon. Try not to worry to much it will only make you feel worse than you already do. I\'m glad you sleep well last night, sleep is so important, I wish i would sleep better than I do. Hopefully you will be able to talk to your mom on the phone today and see how she is doing.
hw awful about your mom and your reaction, worying, stressed, wanting to be with her all make sence. however, you cant be there, but as said above is there a way you can talk when she is better? each day that brings better news will help you too and the worrying will drop down. you afre a very loving daughter. ya, i agree you will need to get up earlier if you want to get things done and esp. if they offer you the job, best of luck on that. once you get in the habit it becomes easierand not so hard. great job on eating even though you got the news of mom. hugssss
i am so sorry about your mom. but its sounds like she is in good hands .but i know how hard it is not being able to be there.. just keep calling her and support her through phone calls .. i hope she feels better soon. and you can feel better too, i am keeping her and you in my prayers and thoughts.. hugs .marie