My mind is a garden...

My dear friends, I am in isolation, guarding the portals of my mind vigilantly, allowing only thoughts of healing and beauty and light.  And I do believe I am beginning to experience a shift...

A few nights ago I was awakened at 1:30am with excruciating gastro-intestinal pain.  As I writhed and groaned in the bathroom for the next 2 hours I noticed something interesting.  I was not praying for healing, I was declaring it.

My beautfiul body is healing now..even now it eliminates that which is toxic, that which does not serve..my body knows how to heal..Divine Spirit within me is healing me now.

I believe that one day soon I won't have to deal with these episodes, I won't crash after the slightest activity.. I expect to be healthy and vital and outgoing, and enthusiastic ..I expect to hike and dance and jump from planes again.  Now is my time to set those expectations over and over, regardless of the circumstances, until they become my default.

A few weeks ago a great job opportunity came up.  Lucrative 5 month project, done deal they acutally sent me the contract.  I attempted to negotiate the price and they walked.  How could i not be devastated?  This is the fith or sixth door that has opened in the past 9 months only to slam again in my face.

It took a few weeks of determined effort to process it but I refused to allow the devastation to take root.  I chose to see that opportunity as a sign that better is on the way.  In the interim another door opened, just 4 hours per week and those few hours have been enough for me to take care of my son's back-to-school expenses and to pay my mortgage for the first time in 8 months.

I also realized that my body is still very, very fragile.  Just going out 1 or two days per week has me crashing again each week.  I realize now that I would probably not have been able to keep up with the demands of the other project.

So I am provided, I am protected and I am at peace.  All is well.

Bless you my dear friends.  For now I must remain apart as I guard this precious seedling and find my footing, know that I pray for you by name, I pray for your healing, your comfort and your peace.  Sending my love your way.