my mind

I was at work today - and while I worked, I tried to figure life out again. I worked

hard and diligently and felt the joy of professionalism. I felt happy to be around the people

who were there... 

I don't know why but my mind asks me to figure out the impossible.

Why am I the way I am? What does that mean? Am I bad or good?
Am I weak or strong?

Is there some kind of acceptable meaning in between the too that covers the whole of it?
I can't seem to find consolation ...so that I stop thinking about it and digging

away at the truth finder while I work. I guess I try and figure stuff out so I will

have a footing in life once I get out of work - to use as a point of departure from

which I'll be able to make a move and achieve something outside of work or in a personal pursuit. 

Something unique or acceptable - it all seems a wash of nothingness.

I don't like the darkness in me. But maybe somehow - shifting between a 'point A' and 'point B'

is what I do - mentally.

I think I just need to take the day as I can and go on to my Yoga class now.

Is it that I want to work in a path where I am allayed of fears and set to peace that what I am doing is ok or even good or right or promsing?

I am reminded of that triangle of "thoughts, feelings and actions..." maybe this is my process when dealing with 

those three.

Anyways, class is soon. Peace and namaste,

Mark