My life is good despite the fact I miss Smokey
My life is good despite the fact that I still miss my Smokey and still am searching for that elusive job. I don't know what I am doing wrong. I get on average 20 resumes out per day. I get the job interview and I think I do great. I never hear back again. Am I missing something? I have had courses & lectures on how to interview and I even have notes on how to interview. Its not how I interview that is the problem. I have been told that I have great skills, interview excellent and do well on my tests. I don't know what the problem is or why I can't get the job. There are probably people out there with better skills than me. At least that is what I am thinking. No matter how many courses you take, there is always that one that you did not take or have.
Other than no job and no Smokey, my life is great. I enjoy each day. Some days I get depressed or really feel the hole that Smokey left in my life. Other days, I love life. With my faith in God, friends, family and Daily Strength, I wake up each and every day. God isn't finished with me and there is a purpose for my life, although I am confused as to what my purpose is these days. This is what I am thinking:
1. I am here for my brother Don who has undiagnosed Asperger's Syndrome (low level of Autism & a social disorder & a neurological problem). I encourage him, pray with him and help him when I can. A lot of people have said to me, he is lucky to have me in his life. I feel the same. Don has taught and is teaching me about patience. I have no patience but am learning through Don.
2. I am here for my daughter Lisa. I babysit whenever she needs me. I support here this way as I am not rich and have little money but do my best for her.
3. I am here for my friend Carol. Other than me losing Smokey, we seem to be walking the same path and can talk about these things with one another. We know the other person understands and is walking in the same shoes.
These are my purposes as far as I can figure out. God can correct me if I am wrong on the subject. Although when I get blue, I can't figure why God hasn't taken me home yet. I would rather be in heaven with him than walking on this planet but God isn't finished with me yet.
I am getting restless. I need a job. I work on the computer all morning getting out my resumes. What positive thing can I do with my time? I am thinking about finding something in church that I can volunteer for but nothing has caught my eye yet. I can wait. I am sure something will grab my attention. Other than cleaning, I watch a lot of TV. I like to bake but you can only do so much for one person. Don appreciates my baking skills. Dave takes me out in the afternoon and I go to his place in the evening.
I am taking more time for myself. I pray, meditate and feel my feelings. My heart sorrows for my loss of Smokey. I know it. I don't feel as if I am using Dave but it is nice to have him in my life or I would be so far down that I could not look up. He might not be my life long partner but Dave is a companion for now. I would like someone who shares my faith this time round. I never had it with my first husband nor with Smokey not with Dave. I figure I am 56 years old and should get it right this time if I am blessed or lucky enough to find that elusive man. If not, its okay. Its always good to have a goal whether you reach it or not. Set the bar high and maybe you are lucky/blessed to almost reach it. If you don't try, how will you know. If you don't put the effort out, you are giving up. I don't want to give up. My Smokey drilled it into my brain to keep on going, keep on reaching and keep on trying. My Smokey wanted me to find another love of my own after he passed away. He drilled this into my brain as well. I am trying. There are a lot of jerks, creeps, abusive men, addictive men, etc. but someone out there in this big wide world is that elusive decent, kind, caring, christian man for me. He is one in a million. Whether God brings us together or not is another story. For now I just want to enjoy my life as it is and when it changes, I will let you all know.
Keep on reaching, keep on trying and keep having your goals. May we be blessed/lucky to reach them all from Diane B.
Other than no job and no Smokey, my life is great. I enjoy each day. Some days I get depressed or really feel the hole that Smokey left in my life. Other days, I love life. With my faith in God, friends, family and Daily Strength, I wake up each and every day. God isn't finished with me and there is a purpose for my life, although I am confused as to what my purpose is these days. This is what I am thinking:
1. I am here for my brother Don who has undiagnosed Asperger's Syndrome (low level of Autism & a social disorder & a neurological problem). I encourage him, pray with him and help him when I can. A lot of people have said to me, he is lucky to have me in his life. I feel the same. Don has taught and is teaching me about patience. I have no patience but am learning through Don.
2. I am here for my daughter Lisa. I babysit whenever she needs me. I support here this way as I am not rich and have little money but do my best for her.
3. I am here for my friend Carol. Other than me losing Smokey, we seem to be walking the same path and can talk about these things with one another. We know the other person understands and is walking in the same shoes.
These are my purposes as far as I can figure out. God can correct me if I am wrong on the subject. Although when I get blue, I can't figure why God hasn't taken me home yet. I would rather be in heaven with him than walking on this planet but God isn't finished with me yet.
I am getting restless. I need a job. I work on the computer all morning getting out my resumes. What positive thing can I do with my time? I am thinking about finding something in church that I can volunteer for but nothing has caught my eye yet. I can wait. I am sure something will grab my attention. Other than cleaning, I watch a lot of TV. I like to bake but you can only do so much for one person. Don appreciates my baking skills. Dave takes me out in the afternoon and I go to his place in the evening.
I am taking more time for myself. I pray, meditate and feel my feelings. My heart sorrows for my loss of Smokey. I know it. I don't feel as if I am using Dave but it is nice to have him in my life or I would be so far down that I could not look up. He might not be my life long partner but Dave is a companion for now. I would like someone who shares my faith this time round. I never had it with my first husband nor with Smokey not with Dave. I figure I am 56 years old and should get it right this time if I am blessed or lucky enough to find that elusive man. If not, its okay. Its always good to have a goal whether you reach it or not. Set the bar high and maybe you are lucky/blessed to almost reach it. If you don't try, how will you know. If you don't put the effort out, you are giving up. I don't want to give up. My Smokey drilled it into my brain to keep on going, keep on reaching and keep on trying. My Smokey wanted me to find another love of my own after he passed away. He drilled this into my brain as well. I am trying. There are a lot of jerks, creeps, abusive men, addictive men, etc. but someone out there in this big wide world is that elusive decent, kind, caring, christian man for me. He is one in a million. Whether God brings us together or not is another story. For now I just want to enjoy my life as it is and when it changes, I will let you all know.
Keep on reaching, keep on trying and keep having your goals. May we be blessed/lucky to reach them all from Diane B.
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