My Legacy

I still get sad reading posts of estranged children and many things that are written I could say myself...forgotten birthdays, being slighted at the holidays, etc. I, too, hurt, but have put myself on a new path. Whether my 4 adult daughters reciprocate or not is of no consequence to me. What I have learned over the course of the last few years is that my daughters may not like things I've  done and I have apologized for them, but they do love me. This I know. They don't respect me which is hard, but the love is there.
My hope for the future is for my girls to remember a loving mom who, yes, made mistakes but tried her best and admitted being human.  I have started doing things in hopes that when I pass, they will have meaningful things that I took the time to make or buy that meant something. If I don't get a thank you, so be it. I will feel good about what I've done and hope when they are my age, it will mean something to them even if it doesn't now. I made DD31 a Shutterfly book of her  growing up years and will be doing the same for my other DDS when they turn 30. I made one for DD29 of her bridal shower. I gave them each Pandora necklaces last Christmas with the initial of their first name. I will continue to do this whether I ever get a thank you or anothing in return knowing how, as we all get older we come to appreciate those little things. I think having a mother of my own who has never done anything to make her daughters feel special drives me. 
My plan may sound crazy to some, but, when my time comes to leave this earth, I hope my daughters will remember a mother who loved them beyond reason, was forgiving and giving of her time and in meaningful ways.