My heart is breaking!!!

  Bad news from the vet today...Hoagie is not responding to the chemo.  The lump in his small intestines has gotten larger and is now in another spot as well.  He is very anemic and isn't moving around much.  My anxiety level has been thru the roof, between this and trying to recover from the accident. My heart is breaking.  I love this cat so much.  I've only had him for about 5 years but we bonded pretty quickly after I got him and he is just such a clown yet comforting at the same time.  My partner and I had a good cry before about over not knowing what we will do without our "Geetsie Doodles" (one of his many nicknames).  Whose head will I kiss, who will head-butt me first thing in the morning, who will look at me with those half-lidded eyes that tell me he is just soooo happy? And the weird thing is, he still is happy, even while feeling like crap.  He is now sitting in the window, enjoying the breeze.  He doesn't seem to be in any pain...just very quiet.   No matter how many times one goes thru this, it just never gets any easier.