My heart is aching
I cannot believe that it has been 3 1/2 months since losnig you Evelyn. The pain is just as bad when I first found out you no longer had a heartbeat. Mommy has never been the same since. I know you don't want to see mommy sad and depressed but it's so difficult to let go. I don't want to ever let you go. Your due date is in 2 days and mommy has been crying non-stop. Your daddy and I grieve differently. Daddy has found a way to move on but mommy is still with a heart full of sadness. Mommy wants more than ever to try for another chance to be able to provide you with a sibling to watch over. Daddy doesn't want to try and that makes it more difficult for mommy to move on. It already hurts not having you in my life but the fact that mommy cannot have a chance of trying again. Mommy is 41 and knows I don't have much time left. Daddy doesn't understand and it's causing tension between us. I am so sorry Evelyn. Mommy is having such a difficult time accepting that you are gone. I love you so much and wish you were here in mommy's arms so I can hug you and kiss you endlessly. My precious baby, please give mommy the strength it takes to get through your due date and all the days and nights ahead. Take care my baby girl. Mommy will meet you again some day soon. I love you so much.
Love, Your Mommy
Love, Your Mommy
Replies
We grieve to the extent we love. Evelyn knows just how much you love and miss her. Have you found someone you could meet up with and talk to about your feelings? I am so sorry your husband is not on the same page with you, and trying to make things work is adding extra stress to you. Maybe turning to a therapist, understanding family member, fellow loss mom? Giving Daddy the breather maybe a good idea may help cool things off abit and may even sweeten him to the rainbow idea?
You and every mommy here have been my support and my foundation. I am trying to look for a support group but in the meantime, my head cannot stop thinking about my baby. I know I will be a mess tomorrow on her due date. My husband admitted last night that he does not know how to comfort me or support me. Every time I mention I want to try again, he looks the other way. I just can\'t come to terms that I have to accept that I will never be able to have another child before my time is up. I refuse to have to accept that. So frustrated. I will work on getting through this week first. Thank you being there Celian.