My First Entry

Today is the afternoon after my first night back home with my family.  Last night was wonderful, it was filled with stomach butterflies, tears of both sadness and joy, and a lot of long looks and long holds.  Its amazing the things that one takes for granted, certain little things that would usually be met with an eye roll from me, I was now craving and thinking "why would I ever not appreciate this."  Be afforded yet another second chance is heart breaking and heart warming, to know that I was so selfish to even have to have a "second-second chance" and that my wife is kind enough to give me that chance is overwhelming. I felt so alone in the hotel room every night that heart would literally ache to be back in her company, to just feel her hand in mine.  We held each other, talked and enjoyed ice cream in bed. Ive put our relationship in a weird spot, but together we will navigate through it.  Im having feelings of joy that Im not sure there are actual words to convey.  The texts through out the day that let me know she is thinking about me, good or bad and just the way she will be quick to apologize if she starts to get angry, all let me know that there is at least a small place left for me in her heart and she wants me to get through this.  I love her.