my experience of stuff
this morning when I went down to service
I met up with one of the sisters.
She is a former MIT scientist and now also a nun.
She really takes the passions of life very seriously
and frankly it just is pretty weird and I just kind of have
to laugh when I am on the receiving end of her stuff
which she gives in a very personalized way.
Just separating myself and thinking about my experience of her
makes me feel a sense of humor enough and calm enough to look
at her and not have her rent space in my head about her bs.
Thinking in terms of my personal experience of stuff - separates me
from others in that it tells me 'my feelings' are my separate experience
and that other people have an experience of their own. I don't know
it's just a calming effect on me.
Replies
our household was very emotionally violent
growing up. lots of criticism and judgement
to go round. from parents as well as siblings.
it's starting to make sense to me how
I got hung up and so careful about
what I do with my time when I am alone -
how I relate to the world - in a way that
is putting my best foot forward and is
safe.
my mind got so buried - one person a scholar said to me
'your outlooks is positively medieval'
I've been told you need a whole world
and I've found that very often I relate to aesthetics
- not wanting to put a foot wrong - even when alone
instead of really acknowledging my own experience.
Big hug sweetie
I had to laugh when I read 'not have her rent space in my head'
There are several times that I've felt that as well....lol
I sure hear you about your young life...Your formative years sure can stay with you huh!
But that doesn't make them true...I think we were both around pretty screwed up people that took their misery out on us and labeled that we were the problem
Not so sweetie
I think the misery lay deep within the parent
Sending a big hug of peace and healing
Thanks Jan!!