My depression and anxiety have hit again

I don't know why. I guess it doesn't really make any sense, especially to those who have never experienced depression and anxiety but for no real reason my depression has come back and my anxiety is really bad. Everytime I go through a bad time I think that it will be the one that finally lands me in the hospital, the one that finally ruins me and drives me crazy.        Everything had been going fine. Then, one day I just began to feel like I wanted to cry. I feel I'm always on the verge of a panic attack. The derealization is bad. I'm also having bad night sweats and can't help but wonder if I'm in peri-menopause because there is also something else happening to my body that could mean menopause.        I'm so afraid. I've been having dreams of people rejecting me. One dream I had was I was out with Frank and ran into someone I knew. I was going to introduce them and I looked at Frank and his face was red and he walked away. I knew he was embarrassed to be seen with me. I had a dream lastnight that I ran into a friend. She had been in an accident and had a small injury. i went to hug her and she said "don't come near me."        My biggest fear is of going crazy. I fear being out with Frank and going crazy and embarrassing myself and him. I know this is all typical for panic attacks but everytime I'm in a new life circumstance I feel like it's the first time. I haven't had a boyfriend for many years and now that I do and my life is different, it seems like my anxiety is different.        I sometimes feel I've lost touch with my friends. I'm not much for talking on the phone but I find when I'm alone that I don't want to call anyone like I should. I just don't feel like getting into talking about how I'm doing. I do love all my DS friends and I hope that none of you feel neglected and if you do, please forgive me. Please pray for me.