My daughter is pregnant ...
So Saturday I received a video text from my oldest daughter who is 25. It was a picture of a home pregnancy test showing "Pregnant". This should have been a happy thing but instead I had no idea how to respond. How can I be happy for her when she is in no postion to have another child? Her and her husband are lazy and unmotivated. They have drug issues and cannot manage money. They are planning to move to out of state to live with his parents in October. They say it is because her husband will be able to get a good job down there but I know it is to live off his parents (just as her husband did before they got married). Their three year old daughter has serious attitude issues and is basically "the Boss". She (my granddaughter) came to my house the other day and literally snubbed me and was so very rude. I watched how my daughter interacted with her daughter and I just wanted them to go home. So now she is pregnant and leaving to go live with his family which means I will barely see the new baby. So no I am not happy about it and I still have not responded. What I have to say cannot be said via a text message. I hope to have a talk with her in person and let her know that I love her and I wish her the best but I am unable to be happy under the circumstances.
Replies
Time for love. what I mean is, I had a similar siuation, no drugs just they were REALLY young when They started. My son is 26 and has 4 kids. I worried all the time. For my sanity I had to step back. I don\'t watch the grandkids like I use to almost everyweekend I have not done that in a couple years. I am not the parent I am able to pray, play and love on them. That is my only responsibility. They are doing OK and I sleep better. It took awhile for me to do it, counseling helped. The guilt overwhelmed me. But its their life and their choices, keep praying.
Love and hugs!
My daughter and her then two year old daughter lived with me for six almost a year prior to getting married. She had left her boyfriend because he was not motivated to make a life for them. While she was living with me I realized that I could not parent her parenting my granddaughter. It drove me crazy that she was so inconsistent and lazy in disciplining and teaching my granddaughter. He got a job that included a free apt and things got better. So I was happy to to have her move out (actually asked her to move out a month sooner than she planned) just before the wedding. Even with free rent and her working part time as well they never have money. Sadly I know why. I was really hurt when she told me they were going to move out of state to where his parents were (His mom was in the habit of buying their time and attention when she was here). However, I realized that it was time to truly let her go. I had to focus on my life and whether I agreed or not I had to keep my feelings to myself and just love her. I have stopped helping her out financially and only watch my granddaughter if it is works into my schedule and not just when she needs me too. I accept that it is her life and her choices but it still makes me sad. She IM\'d me right after I wrote the first journal entry. She wanted to know if I got the text. I told her that I loved her and wanted her to be happy and hoped everything worked out as she hoped. I admitted that it was hard for me to be excited knowing the financial situation that she was in and that they would be leaving. I never imagined myself as a long distance grandma. I always hoped my family would stay near me just as I had stayed. I know that it is something I must learn to be ok with and will continue working on it. I will also continue to pray for them.