my challenge today
well this morning I woke with a lot of anger - don't know why - maybe it was because of a text I got first thing -not sure.
In any event. I took myself out for a walk - I was honestly afraid to - lol -but I went - and it was good.
Now I am sitting here trying to figure out what to do with my time until it's time to go visit my parents.
I just needed to remind myself that it's my responsibility to take care of my time - and so I came on here to write
about it. It is so weird how I have to pick apart my experience in order to get a handle on it. A little pride in me
is good. Happy Sunday.
Replies
so to take care of my recreational time or my time doing chores... For some reason there is a part of me that is so driven by my self that
makes it seem inappropriate to voice or assert myself - but perhaps there's room for a mix - of a little self centered- ness and a little humility..
it's so weird that I have to parse my experience like this. I mean if it's what I need to do..then so be it...but I seem to be bouncing up and down this morning - between feelings of self assurance and then feelings of falling apart. I don't have a resource of examples to draw on...in terms of how to deal with my disability..
I have heard it takes a village to raise a person... I hope we can serve each other here with supportive and good examples to get ourselves through the day(s). Sorry I am getting a little weird this morning.
I went to sleep being aware of that 'life dynamic' that we are probably constantly in a state of aggressiveness or transition or a kind of athletic sense of coping with life - and so rises in or tidal emotions are part of the deal.. I woke up this morning not remembering that - I nearly gave into my fears and stayed indoors - but I went out anyway.
Then along the way for some reason I didn't remember that. I have been dealing with sadness
-moods all over the place - and a kind of ineffectualness.
Could be happening because I am alone - thank goodness I am going to my parents' later
but I want this alone time to be a lesson for me - that I need to deal with life - and put the pieces together. Maybe it's just a bad morning. I think it's time to start making plans for my days off.
It's good to have plans for your days off. I rarely do and then I'm upset that I didn't do anything at all on those days. I also can relate to your fear of going for a walk. I used to have days like that. Have a good week Mark.
thanks becky!