My Centre

I got out of bed this morning (believe me this was no small feat given it was the kind of cold January morning in Canada that has you sprinting from the cozy covers to the shower for warmth) and I was pretty content. I must confess I usually cross off the days of January and February like a prisoner awaiting freedom but today I woke up with a spring in my step and a smile on my face. I wasn’t really sure why. Then came chaotic morning hustle of getting two grumpy holiday hung-over children ready for school. Several battles ensued and I felt my sunny disposition sliding in the wrong direction but as I listened to my MP3 on my brisk walk to work (only eyes showing ...it was that cold!) I pumped myself up again and bopped along to the music. The walk felt good after stagnating on the couch watching movies after way too much food and my cheeks felt rosy from the cold. Aaaaaaah fresh air! I got to work. Grumpy people everywhere ... trust me I am not the only one who gets depressed after Christmas. I mean what is there to look forward to except colder days, shoveling snow, brushing off your car, cold hands and feet, cabin fever, cracked lips and darkness by 5:00 p.m.? It was a struggle but I managed to hang onto my good mood and even managed to hit the gym as promised which increased those good feelings. And you know what I discovered ... my center. People, circumstances even your thoughts can throw you off balance. You can go from a great mood to a bad one in seconds...if you let yourself. You know what freedom is? It isn’t money, or having more time or retiring early or living in Tahiti on bed of flowers with your soul mate. It is choices. We choose how to feel, what to think, who to date, whether to let someone bother us, how to respond to situations and what to wear in the morning. Our choices can make us feel bad or good. But we get to make them so therefore we hold all the power. We can make this a good day or a bad one....a good life or a bad one. So you gotta find your center and hold on! You gotta make the choices that keep you in balance. And you gotta make choices that represent the authentic you..not the ones everyone else wants you to make. I have read about this stuff but I never understood it until today. I have spent a lot of my life in the victim role wondering why I always ended up in such bad situations. Why me syndrome. Trust me just because I found my center does NOT mean I will be balanced from hereon in...I just felt so happy and peaceful knowing that I have one and I hold the key to my own contentment. I am optimistic realizing that I have the power to practice balancing things so that I can do pirouettes around life. I could choose to let the weather, my children, strangers, co-workers, Telus mobility providers or the girl at the gym who doesn’t wipe down the equipment ruin my day OR I could accept things and make the best of it. I can accept that its winter and no amount of complaining, bargains with God or dreaming of winning the lottery and escaping to a warm tropical island is going to change that fact so let me change my attitude. I could waste the next two months complaining and dragging myself through it or I can see that without winter I wouldn’t enjoy a yummy hot chocolate, thick wool sweaters, a whole new wardrobe, new BOOTS or beautiful snowflakes. That’s how I’m going to choose to look at things now. It won’t happen over night .. by this time tomorrow I could be crying and eating Haagen Daz ... but I am determined to not give up until this isn’t an unusual day but my standard way of being. There is a positive to every negative and life is soooo much easier to live when you see it not as a dreary journey to get through but a wondrous adventure where you live every moment.