MY BABY

more bad news. im devistated. yesterday morning i woke up around 6am and had a lot of strong abdominal pain.  then i noticed that i was bleeding. right then my mom came out of her room to get ready for work and i told her. so i called my OB and waited for the doctor on call to call me back. i never met him before, but i told him what was going on and he was concerned because even though i had the colposcopy i shouldnt be bleeding from it. and the blood was bright red. so he said it was possible that i was having a miscarriage. i thought he was going to tell me to go to the ER but instead he told me to wait until 8 and call the office and get in and see them there. i got ahold of them at about 8:30 and they told me to go to the ER. so that was a nice waste of 2 hours.  they did a whole bunch of things to me...it was very uncomfortable. the bleeding still wouldnt stop, but it wasnt as heavy as earlier. i finally got an ultrasound done and the baby was okay. i started bawling my eyes out because i was SO relieved. especially when they gave me this big picture of one of the ultra sounds. when the doctor came back to see me, he said that i had an acute threatened miscarriage. and that its a 50/50 chance that my baby will make it. so all i can do is wait and pray and just try to stay calm. but i find myself always silently crying to myself because im so scared and worried. the cramps are still there and are strong at times, but it comes and goes. im still bleeding, but its more like spotting right now. its hard to tell exactly how much im bleeding because im wearing a sanitary pad. but when i go to the bathroom i can tell how much im bleeding at the moment. its still bright red, and it looks like there is some tissue with it too. i really really wish everything will be okay.