My anger and bias towards my family

I despise my family, all of them aside from my sister, and I have more love for my grandparents than hate as well. I still feel like a child most days and despite being eighteen I tend to act like one too. My mother is abusive towards me and my sister both mentally and emotionally, my sister is being influenced by my mother, my biological father is a bum living out of his sister's garage, my family on his side live in a bad area and are a bunch of stereotypical city white trash with stereotypical southern personalities, my aunt on that side had a fucking red white and blue wedding and I only attended out of courtesy, even though I was only informed she was getting married the day BEFORE the wedding and had little to no time to prepare. My step father is stepped over and used by my mother and he just takes it and follows her like a dog, I feel degraded every time I speak, I want to die most days but I don't because of the principal I've beat into my brain. I still cut sometimes.. Ugh, I just- it isn't until I write about it that I realize how fucked everything in my life is.