My Angel, my daughter
It was the end of September 1995, I woke in the night with terrible stomach pains. My mum thought it was appendicitis & drove me to our A&E. After a long wait a doctor came to see me. After talking to my mum and I and examining me she left to get something and put it to my stomach, there was a strong ryhmic sound. She told me I was pregnant & some months down the line at that. She left the room, my mum looked at me with such a look of shame and disgust that cut right through me and made me want to instantly combust and die "get rid" she said.
A little while later I was taken for an ultra sound, I was approx 25 weeks pregnant & thankfully too far gone to terminate. I had not planned to get pregnant, but I knew abortion was not the choice I wanted, but my mum would have ultimately over powered me if it was. I had been bleeding every month, I had not known, I was at performing arts school & thought I'd had butterflies in my stomach on many occasions. We were sent home.
My stomach pains returned a few days later so I went to the GP, she said I was experiencing bracston hicks contractions and prescribed me cocodamol. That weekend my mum went away, I was home with my dad. I woke up on the Saturday with the pains again & went to have a bath. My dad called the GP & was told a doctor would come out after the morning clinic. I got out of the bath and the pains were worse, I felt kinda like I needed a poo & with one push I suddenly realised what was happening & could feel my baby's head crowning. I sat down & with a second push she was born, I remember our cat was at the door meowing. I called to my dad, he didn't know what to do. Luckily that was the moment the doctor knocked on our door, she took charge, got dad to call an ambulance, came & wrapped my baby girl up in towels and helped me deliver the placenta.
The ambulance arrived, I was in shock & wanted to pack some things so they took my tiny baby & a second ambulance came for me. I remember my GP trying to tell me my daughter may not live long enough to get to the hospital. I knew she would. I arrived at the hospital & was taken to the maternity ward. I was given a photo of my daughter attached to a breathing machine & told she weighed 1lb 9oz.
A little while later I was taken for an ultra sound, I was approx 25 weeks pregnant & thankfully too far gone to terminate. I had not planned to get pregnant, but I knew abortion was not the choice I wanted, but my mum would have ultimately over powered me if it was. I had been bleeding every month, I had not known, I was at performing arts school & thought I'd had butterflies in my stomach on many occasions. We were sent home.
My stomach pains returned a few days later so I went to the GP, she said I was experiencing bracston hicks contractions and prescribed me cocodamol. That weekend my mum went away, I was home with my dad. I woke up on the Saturday with the pains again & went to have a bath. My dad called the GP & was told a doctor would come out after the morning clinic. I got out of the bath and the pains were worse, I felt kinda like I needed a poo & with one push I suddenly realised what was happening & could feel my baby's head crowning. I sat down & with a second push she was born, I remember our cat was at the door meowing. I called to my dad, he didn't know what to do. Luckily that was the moment the doctor knocked on our door, she took charge, got dad to call an ambulance, came & wrapped my baby girl up in towels and helped me deliver the placenta.
The ambulance arrived, I was in shock & wanted to pack some things so they took my tiny baby & a second ambulance came for me. I remember my GP trying to tell me my daughter may not live long enough to get to the hospital. I knew she would. I arrived at the hospital & was taken to the maternity ward. I was given a photo of my daughter attached to a breathing machine & told she weighed 1lb 9oz.
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