musing

Argh.  Talk about multi-tasking.  I'm trying to list auctions, email invoices, & write in the journal all at the same time!  Sheesh!  Some days it feels like I never leave work.  No rest for the wicked, eh?! The day hadn't started off all that wonderful.  I had an ok night of sleep last night (better than some nights yet worse than I'd wish it to be).  But I somehow overslept the alarm.  Don't you just hate when you push off instead of snooze?!  Hell, I normally turn it off & immediately bound out of bed so that I DON'T fall back to sleep.  But I wanted to get to work early today since one of my employees is out on an end-of-summer-vacation.  Needless to say, that didn't go as planned. I got to work ok, & work began ok.  Then it started to get a wee hectic.  Being the only analyst on staff today, I got a little flustered.  I had a minute panic attack.  I'd had a worse one yesterday afternoon.  Normally, a busy schedule doesn't much faze me.  Normally I thrive on it.  But I felt under too much pressure today.  Anyhow, I made it through. Then Tony told me how he feel back to sleep again, & I snapped.  It's so unfair that he gets to "take it easy" when I have to slave away damn near every hour of every day.  I'm so fed up w/ being the responsible adult.  When do I get to surrender & indulge my self-pity?  That's how these days make me feel.  I tried to explain my frustrations to Tony in the clearest & least angry manner possible.  I think I succeeded, but only time will tell. The remainder of the afternoon went well.  Tony took the initiative to make his therapist appt all by himself even though it was raining.  I was rather suprised & proud of him.  He had a good session from what he tells me.  I'm glad to see him regaining faith in himself. Despite the business of auctions closing tonight, all is going well.  Tony even helped me w/ shopping.  He did a spot of cleaning while I prepared dinner.  Things are coming together albeit slowly.  It's all a test of my patience.   I'm glad to say I'm looking forward to a 3 day weekend w/ my husband.  It still somewhat frightens me to fall back in love w/ Tony.  But I'm doing my best not to overanalyze the situation.