Much better

Hello it's been awhile since I went on this site.  So much has happened.  My Luis has been gone 5 years so hard to believe.  Things are better now, I sold the house we had built over a year ago and moved to another area.  I am retired now and I was taking care of my mom but, had to unfortunately put her into a Nursing home her dementia was out of control when I moved her.  I feel guilty about that because she was happy in my old house and going to an adult daycare where she had friends.  Once I moved she was more confused than ever I feel horrible I see her everyday her dementia has doubled sometimes she knows me sometime she doesn't  I cannot converse with her she seems to ramble on about things that makes no sense.  She is going to be 95 I am blessed to have her this long.  All I can do is visit her and hug her and love her forever.  I do miss her because I am alone now.  I do have family in this area that is why I moved.  Things are better for me with my grief from the loss of my beloved Luis.  A year after he passed my dog also passed.  I now suffer from anxiety and it's hard to control it.  I am so afraid of Xanax.  I pray and meditate and listen to soft music which helps.  I am fortunate to have a lot of family here and friends I cannot complain.  I go out quite a bit and I also take care of my granddaughter once a week so I don't feel too alone.  God is me with that I know.   Okay hope everyone is better.  I will check in every now and then.   Well this is the update God bless all.