Moving on
I want to move on with my life. But I am unable to. I know many of my friends are tired of hearing me whining and complaining about my life. But the truth is my life IS shit. Ever since my husband died in January, my life has been so shitty. He died and left me in a huge mess, in a big hell of a mess. He did not take care of his affairs. He left inadequate life insurance. He did not leave a will. He did not change beneficiaries. Ever since he died his ex wife has been out on a vendetta to hurt me as much as possible. She has recruited all four of his daughters in the process. His own parents have been sucked in to the vortex of his ex's maliciousness and have added to my suffering. Even his youngest sister is also supportive of this agenda. I am being pursued, legally and viciously. She is trying to take everything I have away from me. This is NOT about her doing what she thinks is best for her daughters. This is about her trying to HURT me as much as possible. I am not sure why she is so angry with me. It is not my fault that he was so irresponsible. She has had me removed as admin of my own husband's estate. She is costing the estate tens of thousands of dollars in legal fees, court fees, admin fees and real estate agent fees. All of which, I would NOT have cost the estate. But now, she is going to find another way to hurt me. Now she is planning to file an ADDITIONAL suit against me - this one would be against me PERSONALLY, to make ME pay for damages to the estate and all the legal fees, etc. All of which was HER fault. But she will do it, knowing full well that the court could very easily agree with her or, at the very least make me pay HALF of all of that. I wish she would DROP DEAD. No, I wish she would suffer some terrible disease that leaves her mind intact but her body rendered completely useless. So that way she can KNOW her suffering and be UNABLE to do anything about it. To be HELPLESS. And I hope her own daughters turn on her and take everything away from her. BITCH. And I CANNOT move on. The court has frozen all my assets, thanks to the BITCH. I have no place to go. I have no money, no income.
Replies
Rachel, I am so sorry for what you are going through; to have lost your husband, your life as you knew it, and the support of friends and family. That has got to be hard! I wish I could say something that would make you feel better.....the only thing I can say is hold your head high, and do not show the hatred and anger you feel. Try and see her as she is, a very insecure, selfish, actually pitiful person who WILL get what she deserves in the way people like that do.........often later in life when people have figured out just who and what they are really like. That old saying \"what goes around comes around\". By being \"nice\" or at least civil to her, you actually make HER look bad. Please do check out whatever financial help you can get, assistance programs, etc. from your State or community. I do know how humiliating that can be, but so many of us are now in that position who would never have dreamed of asking for help before; just think of it as your own tax dollars coming back to you. You worked and paid into the system all these years and you deserve the help. I will pray for you and please do keep coming back here and let us know how you are doing. Hope the holiday season is not adding to your distress, but if it is, remember us Christians who have to go through those sappy jolly, happy music and nonsense, to try and find any real meaning to the holiday! You are not alone. Peace, laura
Financial help will not be enough. I want to go and live in Israel, to be with my ONLY daughter and my grandson. And I need MONEY to be able to do that. I have NOTHING and NO ONE here. But THE BITCH is going to make sure I cannot do that. She is taking EVERYTHING away from me.
I am Jewish, not Christian. And I have been ALL ALONE this entire Chanukah. His whole family are NASTY NASTY people. I HATE them ALL and would like to watch them all burn in hell for what they are doing to me.
I\'m so terribly sorry for what you\'re going through. I will think of you as I light candles tonight and hope some of their brightness can shine into your life.
I can\'t imagine losing your husband, dealing with the disarray in which he left matters, and then having a horrible vindictive person torture you at every turn - including bringing suit as if YOU were stealing from the estate. Incredible. Something or somebody needs to slap her down and soon. Hopefully, it won\'t keep the daughters turned against you forever; you will be FULLY isolated then.
Do you have close friends or family in town that you can turn to for an evening of being able to express yourself and feel supported and loved in person? I hate to think that you\'re really there all alone - I hope not.
Laura had some good suggestions for getting help from the system if you need that. There are public defenders and others who represent the indigent or people on a sliding scale so that you can get good legal counsel without bankrupting yourself or the estate.
Meanwhile, can you petition the court to release enough assets to live on? Usually you can present some kind of cash budget to them (your income vs your basic monthly outflows) and they can let you have enough to live on.
I\'m really sorry this is happening to you. Talk about adding insult to injury - amazing.
PS We lit the candles last night and I turned to my husband and said, \"These are for Rachel.\" Hope you didn\'t feel quite as alone for a few seconds there.
Thank you for your kind thoughts and concerns. I DO have lawyers. And I am in the process of attempting to qualify for social security disability (I am deaf). As a 50 year old widow, if I am also disabled I can begin to collect Barry\'s Soc Sec immediately if I want -- if I qualify. As for the estate issues, unfortunately the way the law is structured when it comes to second marriages it is not so clear cut. And the ex is taking advantage of EVERY loophole there is to turn everything over to her and the girls. The girls are ALREADY turned against me. They think their mother walks on water. When their father was alive they barely paid attention to him, once they each graduated from HS. He was VERY hurt by this and I even have PROOF of this in an online chat he had with his oldest in which he expresses his hurt and frustration with the fact that we were going into tremendous debt just so his girls could attend top tier universities and not have to pay for it. He said that the debt meant that we would not be able to make aliyah (emigrate to Israel) and that we might not be able to retire. His girls never made time for him/us, unless he/we BEGGED them to, and even then it would be for a mere 15-20 minutes allotment. And we drove 3 hours up and 3 hours back to visit one of the girls during Chol HaMoed Sukkot (the days in between the Jewish holidays of Sukkot and Simchat Torah/Shemini Atzeret) and she could not be bothered to spend any part of Thanksgiving with us! But of course, now that he is dead they claim his estate as theirs - in its entirety. And there ARE loopholes in the law that can help them get it. I am HOPING the court will have some consideration for me as an unemployed, disabled, widow.