Moving on...long gone now

Seems like so much changed since the last mini-vacation with my two kids and this spring break's mini getaway. First time we were almost running for our lives, away from the turmoil, away from my ex's cruelty, seeking some needed peace. This time, 4 years later mind you, we had the time of our life. I cannot remember when we laughed so much. We went mountain biking and I had a time keeping up with my 20 and 17 year old kids. I'm not going to miss out on anything fun again. Whew. And, it was really fun. I recall at one point on one trail, eating the dust from my kids out in front, that this trip wouldn't be any happier or better if I had a guy in my life along for the vacation. In fact, he might be in the way of our style of fun. We're giddy, silly at times and I wouldn't have wanted that compromised or stifled in any way. My kids like to tease me about being solo too now. They will see a real dud of a dude and nod their head at me in his direction. I look and nearly burst into laughter because they are mocking the "available" men "out there" for me. That tells me that they too are comfortable with the idea that I could be alone for the rest of my life. They see me having fun and they have stopped worrying about me. I'm thankful. I don't want them to worry because "I GOT THIS." For heaven's sake, I'm not so fragile that I cannot make my way through this life without someone telling me how to do things. I'd only argue anyway now. Ha. Because I love my new independence and thank God everyday for the prayers that were never answers (remember that song?). Anyway, the happier I feel, the more my friends find someone to match me with. I tell them he has to match my ABC policy: Available (so tired of finding out that, well, he is "technically" married but...), Brave (enough to join me in the things I love to do too rather than insist I join into his activities completely. If he won't do concerts or hikes or dancing or sushi or mountain biking or flying, well, he's not "my" guy. FORGEDABOUDIT. Ha. And then C is for Compassionate. Right, there may not be that many fellows out there who genuinely get this, but I can wait. If I can get away from a ruthless igit, I can wait for a better man to come along. And, if that doesn't happen, then not. I'm having a ball in the meantime with my kids, with friends, by myself, and at my work. This Easter is going to be the best one yet because the kids and I are all in a great space, compared to even a year ago. I'm learning to trust myself, life again and take time and be patient...the best is yet to be so long as I remain true to myself. I am a good person. My kids are terrific. I cannot imagine giving them or me up. But he did and we are better for it. It took this long tho to really get this myself. And it sure feels great.