Moving forward

Today, it is not easy to write your feeling in a journal. But I need this for my healing. I am moving forward.  I am am moving forward. I was saying to myself that I'm real good @ pushing people away. I know how to do it very well. But I don't want people to see my pain. My hurt. Divorce is an unnatural thing. It is an rejection. The person you love. You love so much. For my case I tried and tried to save it. But she was so hurt that she didn't want  to be in counseling. Just want to keeping punishing me and punishing me for something. I was force out of my house. Then my sister in law made a bargin to come back home with my ex. Because they was going to " teach me a lesson" but what both of them didn't realize that I was sick of tired being sick and tired. I want to live for God and to to do that. I must be free. No more lies, no more guilt, no more pretending to be. I'm going to be live. I will not look back but look forward.