Moving Butterflies

The house I live in right now, the house I sit and type this in, will only be my home for three more days.I should be thrilled to leave.  The walls are cracked, the paint is peeling, the windows leak, there is mold in the shower, there are nails poking out of the floor.  It's a shack through and through.  Every day I would wake up here I would hate it a little bit more.But now we are leaving, and I'm sad.There are alot of memories attatched to this hole.  It was the first place Joey and I lived in together.  I remember cooking plain pasta in the kitchen and laughing because it was the only food we could afford.  I remember the first night we slept side by side in our 45 year old bed on our 35 year old mattress.  We bought our first living room furniture here....fortunatley when that futon and chair went out the door to make room for our second set of furniture I wasn't so sad to see it go.  We argued over which chairs mismatched the least for our hand me down table.   We bought our first TV, that was another argument! lol.Also, we got our first dog here.  It was my fiancees attempt to fend off the family urge.  We attempted to train him here.  We lost a ferret in this house.  Cleaned her blood off the floor and held her half paralyzed body, crying, while we found a vet.  We raised my neice her for a year.  Took her in when my sisters addiction got so bad that the government finally took her children.  I taught her discipline and consequences.  But also that there isnt only bad things in this world.  It was also here that she left us.  I couldn't do anything else for her, she needed to see a specialist she was so messed up.  It was on our 35 year old mattress that I cried because I felt like a failure to her. I was standing in the doorway to our living room when I told my fiancee that we were going to be parents.  It was this bathroom that I first got a peek at that test and felt my heart jump.It was here that my little sister lived with us, this living room that she went into labour in.  The bedroom just down the hall that her and her son lived in for 6 months.  My water broke on this living room floor.  And it was our current bedroom that was the first place our daughter slept in.  The living room floor that she rolled over on for the first time.  She spent the first 5 months of her life here.  She did alot of firsts in these walls.There is so much to pack still.  And it sort of makes me want to cry.  The landlords came over today and looked around just to see where we were in packing so they could post it back up for rent.  They told me that they would give us 24 hr notice if anyone wanted to come look at it.  I don't want people snooping through MY HOME. But it isn't my home anymore.  On Sunday we are loading the uhaul....Sunday night will be the last time I sleep in this house, and Monday we are moving all of our worldly possesions to our new place.I'm just choked up.  I should be sleeping, but there are so many emotions running through me.  I guess it's time to start a new chapter in my life, time to say goodbye to my house of firsts.  Time to make new firsts in a new house.So long old friend.....I'll drive by and see you on occasion, and as time goes by I'll drive by less, until one day you are nothing more then a memory at the back of my mind.

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Awww, that got me all teary-eyed! You write and express yourself beautifully. I can relate to a lot of that. Oh my god, what you said about cooking plain pasta because it\'s all you could afford- been there! And we were cooking it with a gallon of water on a hot plate! But it was all ok because we were together (my husband and I). Moving is ALWAYS stressful and emotional, even if you\'re moving to a better place. My husband (we\'re not actually married, but after nine years we might as well be- \"boyfriend\" is just the wrong word) and I moved into our new apartment in November, and it was tough even though this is nicest place we have ever lived in- it\'s beautiful and it really feels like a home. And it\'s our first completely drug-free home, which I LOVE about it. I feel like there\'s no darkness here. Although we have both been clean for a little while now, we had used together in our previous house in the past, and I didn\'t like having those memories there. I HATED the old house- I think our bed may have actually been older than yours, if that is possible! Well, I should say our MATTRESS- we didn\'t have a bed there, just a box spring and mattress on the floor. And it rained in the living room and the second bedroom. We just laughed it off and called those rooms \"the terrarium.\" Lol. But we had memories there, so as much as that place sucked, leaving was bittersweet. It always is. What you said in the end- I STILL like to drive by the first place we lived in- our first home together- and we left there in \'05. It\'s always interesting to see how the place has changed, who lives there- but I always feel a little twinge, like \"that\'s MY home- what are those people doing in it?\" Heh. A new home is a place to make new memories though... so many possibilities. Are you in the new place yet? How is it?