moving....
Last weekend before my move on Thursday. I'd been feeling surprisingly good the past week, but today the depression has snuck its way back in. Not sure why, but then I wasn't sure why I was feeling "almost happy" either.
Did my usual weekend runs down to the new place with a bunch of the smaller stuff. Leslie's ashes are in the coat closet--that is always much on my mind. You'll have better accommodations soon, girl. I have a framed picture of Leslie and Sawyer on the kitchen counter. I talk to it. I'm sure that's not too weird.
Have one more session with the bereavement counselor in this town--after that she's going to put me in touch with Hospice in the town I'm moving to. Have the Equine therapy on 10/23. That I am really looking forward to.
I keep finding myself with things I want to tell Leslie. Or pictures I want to show her, like the litter of kittens born under the maintenance shed. I have a couple pics of them, and I (and Leslie) are happy to hear that they were "rescued" along with their mom and hopefully will have better homes than the parking lot.
My therapist suggested I start writing down things I want to tell Les. Since I'm in the middle of moving, I'll start here:
1. Yoda
2. parking lot kittens
3. the guy driving down I-70 with a trumpet (bugle?) in one hand while driving with the other
4. I found a little sapphire heart pendant on eBay. (Leslie's birthstone--I got it)
5. the big thunderstorm the other day (Hey, Girl!)
6. someone found a live 2-headed copperhead snake. (Les would get a big thrill out of that)
7. I have 5 bags of your clothes in the storage unit. Christmas I think I'm going to go through them and save some to make a quilt or something
8. I found a picture of you holding a pineapple. Not sure why you looked so excited about holding a pineapple?
Love you, Girl. Always, always, always
Replies
Love the idea of writing to Leslie. I talk to Kala ALL the time! I believe 100% that she hears me and is a part of the conversation. She's told me before, early on in my grief....during that first year actually....to invite her into my life experiences. You see, I'd kept saying this is my first so and so without Kala, and suddenly one day I "felt" Kala ask, "why do you keep univiting me to everything?" WOW! Now that was a major AHA moment for me!!! Since that day, I always tell Kala, "come on girl we're going so and so, or going to do so and so". Yep, I always invite my girl to everything I do that I know she would enjoy being a part of!!!
Tight hugs,
Teri
As Teri said, I've learned to invite Ed to everything and I talk to him constantly & sometimes he responds with an affirmation, a dream, or a sign. He probably responds all the time but sometimes I don't think I recognize his response.
I talk to Ed's pictures too. I was weird when Ed was living on earth so I can still be weird since he now resides in heaven, lol. But seriously, I don't think it's weird. It's a visual of our child as we talk to them. And whatever facilitates your communication with Leslie, is perfectly ok in my opinion.
Have the best day possible. Love to you and dearest Leslie, Linda ♡
Gentle and loving care dear Sue, and following Teri's lead I learned too to invite Douglas along always. He often pops in when I least expect it and I have an ongoing conversation with him too. All of this keeps our hearts connected and our love vibrant so whatever helps go for it as you are.
Your therapist feels like a keeper and I really like her suggestion to you. Keep sharing as that is how we help one another.
Hand in hand, Heart to heart,
XO Joanie