Mourning and Sensitivity it is all in one package.

When you are mourning the loss of your loved one, it makes you sensitive to things or peoples feelings.  I just want to scream.  My friend Wendy and I are meeting this Thursday for breakfast at 9:30 a.m. but in my email I got the restaurant wrong.  She phones me today about it.  She sounded cross.  I told her I know it is IHOP.  Wendy wanted to know why I wanted to be home by noon.  I want to be home for noon because my other friend Carol is taking me to Ikea so I can purchase a light.  I don't drive and don't want to carry a light fixture on the bus.  When I think about the conversation, it don't think it was Wendy's business but since she is my long time friend I told her.  When I think about it, it bothers me.  This is what I mean about being sensitive.  I should just forget about it.  I have more good days than bad but the last 3 days were bad ones for me and my mind just went screwy.  Maybe because I am sending out resumes today and that is pressure in and of itself.  It all adds to the grief.  I haven't been sleeping well again and not eating much these last couple of days.  It's got to be the grief.  I just want to throw my hands up in the air and scream about all these things.  Aaaaah!  I miss Smokey so much and how am I suppose to be better just after 3 months.  It's not right.